Two weird violent comedies I saw recently.

I saw Seven Psychopaths. Ohhhhhh, it was so close to being good. So close. It felt like amazing actors were acting out a first draft of what would eventually be a really great script. I loved Sam Rockwell because, hey, Sam Rockwell is super-fantastic, and Colin Farrell is a sexy beast, and Christopher Walken is terrific. Specific scenes are amazing as mini-films, but the film as a unit isn’t great. Some thoughts:

1. Christopher Walken wears a suit the whole time, and when he walks he has a jaunty pop in his step. I kept waiting for him to break into the Fatboy Slim dance. It really looked like he was gonna at certain points.

2. Speaking of Christopher Walken, there’s a scene where all three leads are driving around – Farrell and Rockwell are in the front seat and Walken is in the back seat sleeping. The guys in the front are talking but I couldn’t listen to them because Walken is all bony and freaky and his mouth is hanging open and his muscles are all slack, it’s utterly terrifying. It’s like trying to pay attention to a conversation while the chick from The Ring is chilling in the shot, being all “Howdy!” and whatnot.

3. If you play a drinking game based on how many times the words “psycho” or “psychopath” is said, you would be drunk in no time. It got to the point where the word lost its meaning for me. They could have said “crazy” or “unbalanced” or “mentally ill”, any number of alternatives were available.

And now I’m watching Super. That’s the name of the film. Super. It came out on DVD recently. It’s about a guy who loses everything and decides to become a superhero. He whacks bad people in the head with a pipe wrench. It’s like a comic book (or graphic novel, if you’re cool) (which I am not) come to life. It was very weird and violent, like 300 taking place in suburbia where everyone drives Buicks.

1. Rainn Wilson plays one of the most socially awkward human beings I’ve ever seen. It would have really easy for him to go into “Non-Believable Dork” area, but he doesn’t. I have a new appreciation for Mr. Wilson and his acting abilities.

2. When Ellen Page tries to be sexy it does not work. She sounds like someone trying to be sexy after watching copious amounts of porn. “Women should moan like this” kind of thing. It doesn’t help that she looks twelve.

3. I really liked the way they used Adobe AfterEffects in this film. Did I mention I’m teaching myself AfterEffects? I am. I had forgotten how irritating it is to learn new things (you just don’t know stuff!). Anyway, instead of having normal film-style flashbacks, they did all kinds of nifty animations.

4. Oh hello, Kevin Bacon. Didn’t know you were in this. Look at you, being all awesome.

5. Wow, the last half is grotesque and rough. I was not ready. It went from weird and charming to heroic to plain horrifying. I’m very upset now.

My final review on both films: they are both the best films ever because they have soft sweet rabbits in them. The end.

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