Movies I have seen recently.

1. Thor. I saw it was streaming on Netflix along with Captain America and I know you should probably see them before The Avengers, so I saw them both. Captain America was okay, but Thor was right up my alley. It was kind of cheesy and kind of epic and there were Norse gods, who doesn’t like a good Norse god story? My only problem is that the ethereal beings in the movie live on Asgard, and at no point does anyone drink out of the skulls of their enemies. I know that Valhalla is part of the world of Asgard, so why no skulls/enemies/drinkies? This caused me sadness because my whole life I wondered how one did that. You know the human head is full of holes, right? Tons of sinusii and nostrils and then there’s the eyeballs, they have to connect to the brain somehow. I was hoping I would see how the gods pulled it off, filling up the skull with beer without it all flowing out the holes. Also, I just looked up Asgard, and Wikipedia says this:

In Norse religion, Asgard is one of the Nine Worlds and home to the Norse gods of the Æsir. It is surrounded by an incomplete wall attributed to a Hrimthurs riding the stallion Svaðilfari, according to Gylfaginning. Odin and his wife, Frigg, are the rulers of Asgard.

Anybody else think “Hrimthurs” looks like it’s written backwards, both when read backwards and forwards? Anyone else?

Okay, Thor was great, loved the big bad monster near the end, good Hollywood stuff.

2. Magic Mike. What… what the hell was that? It’s filmed by acclaimed director Steven Soderbergh. The shots he chose were really interesting and beautifully constructed, even though the movie was unnecessarily filmed in what I lovingly referred to as “Piss-O-Vision”. There’s a strong yellow tint to all the non-stripclub-related shots. It would make sense in an art house film or something, but I think this was supposed to be a mainstream film, so it looks out of place. I blame Instagram and those frikkin’ filters all the kids are talking about. And the plot was an extended episode of 90210. The stripper-guy with big dreams likes a girl and helps her brother, but she doesn’t like him because of what he does, whatever will happen I wonder? That being said, watch this movie for Matthew MacConaughey. I don’t think they gave him any direction for this film. I think they just told him to go do his thing, and do it bigger. No, bigger. In one shot, he’s working out with all the strippers and he’s wearing a cut-off t-shirt and black boyshorts. Unironically. I was like, “Did he raid the Flashdance costume closet? Am I supposed to infer he’s a maniac, maniac on the floor, and he’s dancing like he’s never danced before? Because that’s what I’m seeing.” He was fantastic. It’s a good film to rent if you don’t want to do any heady thinking. Watch it with friends so you can turn to them and exchange thoughts and feelings like, “That guy is really grinding up on that lady, ” or, “Why is both the ocean and the sky kinda yellow?” or “Saw that coming a mile away”.

3. I listened to an episode of the podcast The Nerdist where the guest was Guillermo del Toro, and he was delightful and funny. First of all, he’s from Guadalajara, Mexico, so he has a soft lovely Mexican accent. I heart accents so much. Second of all, he’s really fun to listen to because he’s incredibly smart and loves what he does. It’s a terrible-sounding episode due to technical errors, but I listened to it twice, I enjoyed del Toro’s part so much. I’ve seen Hellboy and Hellboy II and Pan’s Labyrinth, and I saw that Mimic was streaming on Netflix (the phrase “streaming on Netflix” is a big part of my life) so I watched it. Oy. Not… not great. The giant bugs were great, but other than that, not good. At one point I thought, “Well, at least we’re probably nearing the end now, so soon it will be finished,” and I scrolled over the scrubby bar at the bottom.

What?!!?! And hour left? Ehhhhhhhh.

Everyone’s really excited about his new film coming out, Pacific Rim. I think it looks really similar to Transformers, but since this is a totally different director AND Idris Elba is in it (great actor), I have high hopes for it. You can see the trailer here:

This weekend I’m going to see The Hobbit Part I in Imax. I will post a review as soon as I’m done.

Addendum: I saw The Hobbit Part I. It was okay. Not great, not bad, okay. A couple of thoughts:

1. They used the word “whence” correctly and that made me happy. It’s not “from whence they came”, the “from” is already part of the word. It’s “whence they came”. So good job movie people.

2. One of the dwarves looks like Ryan Gosling in a fake nose. I was kinda of bummed when I looked it up and found out that it was not. Alas.

3. Oh look, it’s the guy from Flight of the Conchords, Brett. He’s an elf again (he was an elf in LOTR), but this time he has lines, several of them! Good for him.

4. Gollum is awesome. So great. So is Martin Freeman.

5. Whatever program filter they use when someone puts on the ring and the world becomes hairy, it’s the same filter they used in Harry Potter when a dementor tries to steal your breath. Not a bad thing, just a thing I noticed.

6. In the last scene where they show piles of money, did anyone else expect to see Scrooge McDuck swimming in it? I can’t believe it was just me.

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