I made a thing and bad makeup choices.

1. I made a thing! Nessa went home to her mom in California and wanted an iPod case with a mirror on it so her mom can touch up her lipstick on the go, similar to these:

Conveniently we work in the crafty-beady district of Manhattan, so it wasn’t too difficult to procure all the needed ingredients. Nessa’s mom likes the color red and belly-dancing and therefore we decided to go with a Persian rug look. I glued a whole myriad of plastic-y hoohah and Swarovski crystals all over the back of a chestnut brown case and it turned out pretty great. So, you know, hooray for me.

2. I was walking through Times Square two days ago and there is an enormous ad for Viva Glam by M•A•C Cosmetics. Viva Glam is wonderful and all the money goes to help people with AIDS, and usually their ads are fantastic. But this one, wooo. Nicki looks not good.

Were they going for Disney villain?. Someone at M•A•C must really hate her. First of all, her eye makeup makes her look like she has a pink-eye-related-rash situation goin’ on. Her false eyelashes are uneven. And she’s got a long nose, why would you take a shot from that angle with the super-obvious white stripe down the middle for “slimming”? I know it’s possible to take a good picture of her, like this one:

Now, what she’s advertising is that particular shade of lipstick that she’s wearing. I went on the internet and checked it out. After my copious research, I do not recommend it. On some people, it looks okay. On most everyone else, it does not do them any favors at all.

Kelly Rowland, pretty nice:

Random other chicks, failure:

This one chick, awesome, but she mixed it with other colors so it doesn’t count:

Do you know what I think? I think this is going to be one of those fashion trends that people follow for a season, and then when they have children fifteen, twenty years down the line, the children find photos of of their mothers wearing this lipstick and call them out on it, and the mothers blush embarrassedly and say, “Well, it was the fashion then!” An example:

Not an acceptable answer, ladies. Don’t be a sheep. If something looks like poo, don’t wear it even if it is “in” this year. Poo is poo. Here, I’ll let Oscar Wilde explain it to you.

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