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Ruby, Fishies and Other Fishies.

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

1. I work with Nelly and Nelly has a dog, a maltese named Ruby, who came to work a week ago. Ruby is a lovely little fluffy thing who plays with you and wiggles her butt stub masquerading as a tail and is generally all kind of sweet. But being at work all day is boring, so she spent most of her day chillin’ in her carry bag, looking like this:

What could it be? Perhaps a large hairy white muffin? And then you’d say, “Hey Ruby…” and you’d get this:

So cute! I did that about sixty times.

2. I was visiting Neenernator this weekend and, as usual, being unable to do anything but watch her totally rad fishtank. She has a Jack Dempsey:

JackDempsey.jpg

And an albino pleco (suckerfish):

AlbinoPleco.jpg

And a festive variety of other fishies (those are my favorites). She also has two lumpy iridescent blue fish, a male and a female. We were looking at them on Saturday and we noticed the female’s fins were shredded and thin. Neenernator expressed concern that it could be fin rot, and then the male sauntered up and started chomping on the lady bluefish’s fins. Just chewing on them with his teeny-tiny teeth. I was like, “Wha…?” and Neenernator said, “Yeah, that’s how he courts her. See all the scars on their faces? They bite each other’s faces and hang on and drag each other around the tank.” This has to be the worst courting ritual EVER. It’s way worse than the schoolyard prank of shoving a snowball down the back of the shirt of the girl who interests you. What do the fish do in the wild? Does a male saunter up to another male and say, “Look over there. She that fish that looks like Frankenstein’s monster, who can’t swim around because her fins are like wet toilet paper? Aww yeah. She’s my girl. Gonna make a great mom one day, if I don’t gnaw on her and make her all mangledy in the baby-making parts. Because that’s love, dawg, that’s love.”

3. Speaking of fish, I hung my deep-sea fish paintings in my apartment. I really don’t like to hang my own art in my own place, it makes me feel arrogant (“Only MY art is worthy of MY walls”) and self-centered. By my momma loves the fishes and she wants to see them all the time, so I did it. And here they are, in all their fishy glory.

Posted in Apartment, My Art/Design/Business, Stuff | 1 Comment »

I iz a nurd.

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

I like lolcats. For those of you who don’t know what they are, they are pictures of cats. With words around them. And they took the internet by storm and show no signs of stopping. As long as cats make funny anthropomorphic faces, people will put words on them and lolcats will continue. Here are a few of my favorites.

Occasionally they have lolcats that do not involve cats. These are also equally funny.

Everybody with us now on the lolcat issue? Good. Continuing on. I like lolcats. And at BBDO I had access to a very large printer. So I went and got myself a big frame and printed myself a large lolcat compilation poster. I like my bedroom to be white and devoid of wall hangings, but I compromised and hung the lolcat poster in a corner. But new lolcats come out everyday so I collected them and printed them out and hung them around my framed piece. It’s the only art in my bedroom.

I reiterate my original point: I iz a nurd.

Posted in Apartment, Teh Intarwebz | 1 Comment »

Yay! Things on the wall! Lookit!

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

I haven’t written about my new apartment in a long, long time, and since this weekend when I actually hung things up and put things away, I should share that. Here’s the primary wall of display in the apartment.

The large wooden display unit is called a Cado System. It’s Danish from the early 70s. My parents bought it back in the day and I managed to liberate a massive chunk of it from them and claim it for my own. Layered on every horizontal surface is Art Nouveau pieces, crystalline pottery, fossils and minerals, and vinyl toys. “Eclectic” isn’t even the word. “Random to the extreme” might be closer. But I love it and it makes me happy. I made little tableaus like Natural Museum of History scenes. I have little vinyl figures surrounding fossils so it looks like they’re on a distant planet. I have an owl guarding a dish that looks like a moon. And then I incorporated some wall art. Here are close-ups.

See that print of the wave? Oh, it’s no ordinary wave. The white part of the wave is comprised of… BUNNIES. Oh yes. I’ll show you.

http://formatmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/kozyndan_tidebunny.jpg

I KNOW! That’s why I bought it.

The other piece of art is by Jeremy Fish, one of my favorite artists. Here’s some of his work.

http://www.sillypinkbunnies.com/

He lovee the skullee. And the bunnee and turtle-ee. But Jeremy Fish an amazing designer and I love his work and when this poster came on sale, I had to have it. You can’t really see it in the picture, but the tan part is really gold ink and it shimmers a little. So happee.

And I hung my art nouveau tiles. I collect art nouveau tiles. They’re not very expensive, they’re somewhat easy to find, and they’re easy to pack from foreign lands. Here’s a picture.

I’ve been collecting them since I was twelve, so I’m thrilled that they’re hung in my apartment. It’s like having all my friends around me. More pictures to come as I hang more things.

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Apartment and two things I saw walking around New York.

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

This is what my apartment looked liken when I moved in. Boxy. Very very boxy.

Well, now I’m down to three boxes. Three boxes, people! The finish line approacheth! Soon I will have pictures of the niceness with the wall hangings and whatnot.

I walk past a deli on my way to work that has a poster on the door. I noticed it the other day. Look.

I realize that it’s supposed to be that the soup is so good, the design of angels on the bowl cannot resist and one of the angels is partaking via a straw. What I was convinced I saw the first six or so times I walked past it was that the angel was vomiting into the soup, and since the soup was made with angel vomit, it was heavenly, sort of. I’m not making this up. I swear that is what I thought. “Tomato Basil, now with transcendental emesis!” So not right.

I see this every day on my way into my building. I’ll keep this short: I hate it. I hate it a LOT.

The pointy teeth in many rows, the red shiny gums, the psycho expression, the water running off him that looks like sweat… this is the makings of nightmares.

See what I mean? Thankfully it’s Shark Week right now, so hopefully the sign will be replaced soon. Really soon. Like tomorrow, that would be nice.

Addendum: July 30th – This morning they had replaced the Shark Week poster with a Mythbusters poster! Now, the Mythbusters poster has Jaime and Adam’s decapitated heads in jars like specimens, but it’s still a big improvement over Toothy McRedGums. I am happy.

Posted in Advertising, Apartment, New York, The Telly | No Comments »

A post all about my new apartment. This will be interesting to no one but me.

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

As with all things, there are pluses and minuses to everything. I am close enough that I can walk to the station, but then I have to walk to the station. The train is express and comes through White Plains every ten minutes during rush hour, but because it’s always packed by the time it gets to White Plains, I have to stand the whole way in. However, my apartment is big and the shower is nice and hot and the air conditioning is nice and cold, so I can’t complain. Here’s a super-cool story: my mom has an extremely rich friend who was moving out of her big ole Connecticut home to a swanky apartment in Manhattan. She told my mom she was getting rid of some “rubbish”. My mom, understanding that this woman’s and a normal human’s concept of rubbish are very different, asked if we could see said rubbish before she got rid of it. Long story short, I now own one of these:

http://www.amazon.com/Sony-KV-32FS100-WEGA-silver/dp/B00006LHGV

And another TV just like it, except a bit smaller. Free. Nice rarely-used televisions. Rubbish. Since the big one says SONY on the bottom, I call the TV Sonya. I will paint an “A” on it soon. And, as anyone who appreciates “Little Shop of Horrors”, I’m naming the other TV… Sonya II.

Now I’m in the midst of putting things where they belong. I spend a couple hundred dollars at The Container Store buying stacking metal drawers and wall racks and all sorts of organizational tools. I realized I’m becoming THAT PERSON. You know how you laughed at Grandma with the plastic on the furniture? I used to laugh too. This last week, I actually considered covering my living room furniture in plastic. My mom had to slap some sense into me. This morning I was late for work because I had to lower the blinds in all my rooms so the furniture and rugs wouldn’t bleach from the sun. THAT PERSON. I have placemats and coasters. I don’t even know myself anymore. Perhaps I will leave a bowl of water and a scrub brush near the door so visitors can not only remove their shoes, but scour the soles of their feet as well. Oh dear God, I need help.

Posted in Apartment, The Telly | 1 Comment »

I have moved!

Tuesday, July 15th, 2008

I am typing this from my super-pimped out fabulous apartment. I moved in on Friday and am now ensconced in a flurry of unpacking. I realized yesterday that 75% – 80% of my boxed possessions are decorative items. I am a master of ornate uselessness. My apartment is going to look like a gift shop, but I don’t care. It’s set up just the way I like it and I have to take no one else’s opinions into consideration. BLISS, I tell you. As soon as I’ve set it up somewhat and it stops looking like I have the Great Wall of China made from boxes in my living room, I will post pictures.

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I painted some fabric. I love you, Scribbles Shiny 3D Paint in Petunia Purple.

Monday, May 12th, 2008

My friend B. likes purple. A great deal. It’s his most favoritest color ever. And he has big feet (size 13), so sometimes it is hard for him to find purple shoes. I took pity on his metatarsal plight and bought some Converse Chucks in his size and just JAZZED ‘em right up. They are so purply and peppy, I’m tempted to buy a pair and craftify them fer m’self. I tried to keep these as masculine as I could, but with mine I could use sparkles! Ah, sparkles.

And here is some of the painting in closer detail. JAZZY.

And because my purse with the pomegranate/virus pattern on it started to rip a little, I painted my latest purse with a delightful octopus. He’s black, but his spots are shimmery russet and on top of that are aquamarine rhinestones. EVEN JAZZIER.

My kitchen has a big ole piece of Formica-covered plywood next to the fridge, and I think I will make a cloth hanging with octopi and cuttlefish and jellies and other sea-beasties to hang over it so it’s not quite so… plastic-looking. I’m really going to try to make my kitchen more organic. Incorporate some wood and stones, things like that. We’ll see what happens.

Posted in Apartment, My Art/Design/Business | No Comments »

Bamboo flooring. And photos of GCT.

Monday, May 5th, 2008

The flooring is made of strips of ‘boo, and you can see the hinges or links or whatever you call it when the ‘boo does that thing it does with the stopping and starting. Sooo pretty.

The only problem is that my new flooring is much lower than the original flooring. The doors are all an inch and a half too short on the bottom. It looks stupid. It’s one of those things that I will fix if I get around to it, but I don’t really care. The flooring looks so spiffy I don’t care about much of anything. I loves my boo.

I chose three pictures for my bathroom. They’re not necessarily the most beautiful angles or the most interesting subjects but to me they have meaning and significance and all that junk, so whatever, it’s my bathroom and these are the pictures.

This is a shot I took at about 9:15 in the morning from under the overhang of GCT. The Chrysler Building is one of my favorites in all of Mannyhanny, and the clouds looked really cool that day. You can see the atmospheric haze. I see this everyday on the way to work and it makes me happy. I always think that the Chrysler Building is a giant hypodermic needle poking the fleshy clouds. Why that should make me happy I don’t know, but it does. Perhaps I have a secret affinity for diabetics and heroin addicts. Moving on.

This is a swirly architectural detail near Posman Books. I pass this all the time as well and I love that this could have been a boring old bracket and the architect decided to make it into a charming bit of design. And it’s about a foot above my head, so I can really see it, as opposed to many of the other neat-o things in GCT that are too far away to appreciate (the famous astrology ceiling, the chandeliers, etc.)

This is right under the boards for the New Haven line. I like three-sided things and I like light fixtures, ergo I LOVE this lamp. And there are so many textures and shapes in this picture. I’ve actually never seen these windows open, only the ticket windows on the other side of Vanderbilt Hall. They should really switch over to this side soon, the floor is starting to wear down on the other side. Anyway, I lived in Rye for most of my life and I took the New Haven line, so it has a great deal of significance to me. Now I’m going to live in White Plains and I’ll be taking the Harlem line, but the New Haven line will always have a place in my heart.

Posted in Apartment, My Art/Design/Business, New York | No Comments »

Check out my NY subway-style bathroom!

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

I got my master bathroom done with subway tile and hexagonal floor tile and I chose a dirt-colored grout which accentuates the white tile and makes my bathroom look grotty like the Victorian-era New York subway. I LOVE IT. I took photos of some of my favorite elements of Grand Central Station yesterday and I’m going to hang three of those pictures in my bathroom. I might even install speakers and pipe in the sounds fire trucks and homeless people yelling to complete the tableau of greatness. An air freshener scented faintly like sewage and the look will be PERFECT. No, really, It’s exactly what I wanted and I’m thrilled to bits. Let me take you on a journey of my bathroom.

I’m standing in the shower to take this picture. You can see the hexagonal floor tile and the lovely wall tile. I’m having the painter paint over the grout smudges all over the walls that you can see there.

And this is a photo of the inside of the shower. My contractor (who is a genius) used leftover marble floor tile from the other bathroom for the seat in here. It feels like a sauna on the Lower East Side. I want to sit in there and sweat and then have a large Russian woman throw cold water on me.

Now the floor man is laying down bamboo flooring throughout the apartment and then the painter comes and paints and we’re DONE. FINALLY. And then I can move in.

Posted in Apartment, New York | No Comments »

My apartment Part 637. Plus some pretty cool news.

Friday, April 11th, 2008

First, my interesting news. I got a job. I didn’t plan to, I was perfectly happy working in my underpants at home all day. But I was offered a terrific deal so I took it. Now I work at Publicis in Herald Square in Manhattan across from Macy’s. No one really knows my title, so I am going to say I am the Grand Poobah Designer of the Communications and New Business Departments. That’ll look nice on business cards.

Now, my apartment! Progress! I’m so happy!

A sink! A toilet! A floor! It’s so great! Really, it looks fantastic. I’m thrilled with how this came out. People should feel honored to tinkle here.

A view of the tub with the sink next to it. They still have to put in the hook that holds the showerhead up so right now it’s draped into the sink. Everyone remember that the walls are going to be painted white, so the tiles will “pop” more than they are now against that aqua sheetrock.

Since I’ve bought this apartment, I’ve been hemming and hawing about the other bathroom. I planned to redo it someday, but later on when I have more money. My mom called me the other day and said the workmen were there already, the hell with it, redo the other bathroom already. So I’m gonna. Money be damned! Here’s a pic of the bathroom as it is now:

I replaced the sink and the cabinet and I ripped out the formica countertop and full-wall mirror and that’s where I planned to stop. Now we’re going to tile the walls (halfway up, like wainscotting) and the floor, get a new toilet in there (this one is tiny and grey, new toilet will be bigger and white) and replace the tiles and fixtures in the shower. Here, look at the shower:

There’s three handles in there. And the tile is chipped and you know, bleagh. So I’m going to the tile place this weekend and I shall peruse the stock and pick wall tiles that fill me with mirth and delight. I spend my weekends looking for tile for the bathroom! I’m old now!