Archive for the ‘Nature’ Category

Africa 2011, Part 1.

Thursday, October 27th, 2011

I’ve been to Africa numerous times, but this trip was one of the best. We saw a ton of animals, ate a bunch of delicious food, and I even bought a couple pieces of beautiful art. Our first stop upon arriving in Johannesburg was to immediately hop on another flight to Kruger Park where Cricket and my mother (who from hereon shall be known as The Moomins) stayed for five days. The cool thing about Kruger is that every trip is different. On my last trip with Cricket in 2009 we saw a two leopards and two snakes, but only one hyena for a split-second and barely any warthogs. On this trip we saw a whole bunch of lions and hyenas and hippos, but no leopards or marabou storks or snakes. Every trip is different. A good rule of thumb is to go with high hopes and low expectations and be psyched about whatever happens to saunter into your path.

First, let’s start with the impala. Since there are over 100,000 in Kruger Park, you see them everywhere all the time. Which is great, because I think they’re so pretty. If I had been alone in the car, I would have stopped to say hello to each and every one, which would have taken forever and ever. Luckily, Cricket kept me from falling into a total impala spiral.

An interesting fact about impala: they always look so neat and tidy because they are always grooming themselves and each other. They have teeth like little combs that they rake through their fur all the time. They also have strategically-placed black spots on their bodies because ticks are attracted to dark skin, thinking that the blood is closer to the surface in those spots. Then the impala can easily pick the ticks off of those dark areas.

Impala drama! Males fake-battling with each other. I like to listen to the horns clatter together. Since it’s October, it’s spring there, so the males are practicing sparring. By the way, if you ever go to Africa, I highly recommend that you go in their spring because everything has babies. It was wonderful. “Do you like this full-size animal? Well, how about seeing a version standing next to it in half-size?” That never gets tired. If I had a nickel for every time someone said, “Aww, look at the baby!” I would have a great many nickels.

We also saw a ton of guinea fowl, which made me so happy because they are a highly comical bird. They are prone to freaking out and running with this high-stepping gait that does not suit their body shape (the shape of a teapot cozy). Add in the spots, the bony crest and the dinosaur face and you have a winning creature.

Guinea fowl eating.

Guinea fowl roosting.

Guinea fowl napping on the ground.

Another cool thing is we got to get really up close and personal with warthogs. I will go into specifics about one in particular later, but for right now, here are a bunch of warthogs pretending to be lawnmowers. They are born with callouses on their front knees and they tend to just shnuffle forward on their knees eating grass like horribly unbalanced coffee tables.

I know I said this last time but I just want to reiterate it, if it looks like an animal is right next to the vehicle, it’s because it is. I took pictures to prove it.

An especially cool thing was seeing a whole lot of rhino. We saw only white rhino (Cricket saw an extremely rare black rhino while trekking through the bush by himself, I’ll see if I can get the photograph from him). White rhino and black rhino are named incorrectly. It’s a bad translation from Afrikaans. Instead of “white” they meant “wide” because the white rhino had a long flat horizontal lip, as opposed to the black rhino, who has a prehensile upper lip that comes to a point. Some other interesting facts: The white rhino’s head is so heavy, it can’t really lift it up. White rhinos are grazers, meaning they eat grass, and black rhinos are browsers, meaning they eat leaves off of trees, which is where they use that prehensile lip.

Here’s a picture of a mommy rhino and its baby (awwww).

Various other rhinos eating or resting or drinking.

And we saw kudu, which is a large antelope. I used to call it a deer until I got chastised by someone, because deer and antelope are different. Deer shed their horns antlers every year and antelope keep their head-protuberances for their whole lives. Kudus are big, y’all. Like 550 pounds big. The easiest way to identify kudus from other African antelopes is the male has big spiral horns, but something that both the males and females share is the hairy hump on their shoulders and what I call “bird-dropping-lines”. If you look on their sides, they have thin faint white lines trickling down which look like a dove landed on their spine and let it all out. The Moomins’ favorite kudu characteristic is the white goatee. I like the white line between their eyes. We agreed to disagree.

Tomorrow will delve into elephants and hyenas (warning: a whole lotta “awwws” and “look at the baby” coming up with that one, so prepare yourself).

I’m baaaa-aaack (from Africa).

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

I had an amazing time, I saw an astonishing variety of animals and it was generally fantastic. I’m going to start blogging about it tomorrow once I’ve sifted through the over 1,000 photos that were tookened. In the meantime, please enjoy this video of a hartebeest plowing into a bicyclist while he rides around in the bush:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2oymHHyV1M&

Me and elephants. It’s gonna be awesome.

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

It’s time for my bi-annual trip to someplace other than here, and so I’m headed off to Africa in two days for two weeks of fun and sun and large herbivores that can stomp me to death. I can’t wait. My goal is to see a bushbaby. I’ve never seen one in person and I think this time is my lucky trip. For your edification, this is what a bushbaby looks like:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KGYtUseatU

Sea Creature Costume (part 1 of what’s going to be like a million).

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

Now that I’ve decided to go to Burning Man, I want to have a super-rad costume for it. And since I’m going to invest an insane amount of time and energy into it, and not a meager amount of funds, I want to get as much use out of it as possible. So I’m making a sea creature costume. That way I can use it for Burning Man, two Halloweens and the Mermaid Parade. That’s me, always thinkin’. I’ve been thinking of a design that will allow LEDs to be placed all over the costume, and then I have to take battery packs that run the LEDs and their hiding areas into account, so I’ve been contemplating this for a solid week now. I did a bunch of research on sea flora and fauna and came up with a look. Lotta browns, lotta greens, a bunch of tomato red, some purples and almost no blue. Look at this collage I made. The only blue is because the jellies are in an aquarium. Otherwise, almost no blue at all.

And I made myself a drawing so I had some reference point.

There’s headdress/facscinator with a crab and some tube worms, then there’s the beaded necklace that looks like kelp, followed by the two sea slug bracelets, the corset covered in scales, and the hoop skirt with starfish. This drawing doesn’t include the snail shells on the shoes or the jellyfish umbrella. CRAZY amounts of work. I’ve already started beading the necklace. I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to yell, “Hey, pipe down! Can’t you see I’m working on my kelp necklace?!”

Neenernator’s fish.

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

This last week SUUUUUUUUUUUUU…*pause for breath*…UUUUUUUUUUcked. Work just happened all up in my grill. Lotta fires to put out. I had to translate two ads into Hindi. Hey, guess what language I don’t know? If you guessed “Hindi” (or, frankly, “anything other than English, a bit of French and a smattering of Hebrew”), you would be correct. So a co-worker of mine who is Indian wrote it out for me and I built it letter by letter. Then, right before the meeting, they cut the Hindi ads because the people in the ads were Caucasian and OOPS no one had cared about the ads they provided me so all my work was for naught. And that was only one of a myriad – nay, a plethora of craptasks I was to accomplish. It’s been that kind of week.

Anyway, previous to this work hoohah, I went to visit Neenernator in New Jersey. I had bought her birthday and Christmas presents (I swear) but I couldn’t find them for the life of me, so when I arrived at Chateau Neenernator, I immediately took her out fish-shopping. I’ve talked about Neenernator’s fishtank before. To recap, Neenernator has a 110-gallon fish tank with a lovely collection of freshwater fishies, but lately it was a little bit sparce, being that the wee vibrant fish tend to die after a year or so and it had been a year or so, and I aimed to rectify the situation. I bought a whole bunch of neat fishies. I shall introduce them to you now.

There’s the two angelfish. They are clearly not the smartest fish, but they are very shiny so whenever I narrate their activities, I do it with a California-girl voice. “Omigosh, hiiii, yeah, we’re new here, I’m Caelyn, this is Alyssa…sorry, I didn’t hear you, I saw my own reflection in the glass…I’m sooooo pretty!” etc. Here’s a picture of one.

There’s the stripey fish. I call him Mr. Kissyface. I have no idea what breed of fish he is, but he is brownish and he has iridescent stripes on his very flat sides. And smootchy lips, hence the name choice. (By the way, I have no idea what Neenernator has named these guys. These are just the names I came up with that I call them.)

Now we get to the more-gooder fish. This guy has the best breed name ever. He is a short body flowerhorn. I am convinced that is a name from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, when they’re picking the names of the dragon they were going to do battle with. He’s a grumpy grumplepuss and would normally start drama with the other fish (the aquarium guy referred to him as “aggressive”) but he’s on the smaller side, and I think he is smart enough to realize that if he brings the ruckus, one of the fish that is double his size with bite off his already diminutive snoot.

Neenernator has blue lights in the tank that highlight the iridescent qualities of the fish, but this is what a short body flowerhorn looks like in regular light.

And finally, the piece de resistance, the teacup stingray. Yeah, you heard right, a teeny tiny stingray. There are ones that can live in freshwater, which I did not know. This guy is crazy precious, like a little doily that goes under your coffee cup, but also who likes to eat algae build-up off the walls of the tank.

And here’s a bunch of her fish hanging out in the same spot at the same time, which Neenernator managed to capture. That’s exciting, because normally they don’t do that.

I am a tool.

Sunday, August 28th, 2011

Hurricane / Tropical Storm Irene hit the East Coast last night, so I woke up this morning expecting to be surrounded by carnage. I looked out the window and – nothing. No puddles, no down branches, no people swimming to get groceries, nothing. A bunch of leaves on the ground, that’s it. So, I went on Facebook before checking everybody’s else’s status and wrote:

Which was a huge, huge mistake. Because then I saw this:

And this:

And this:

And this and this and this:

And I felt like a colossal douche. So let me make a formal apology: I didn’t think, I just looked out the window and assumed everybody had the same non-existent storm experience that I did. As we all know, assuming makes a hind-quarter out of you and me. So I am sorry. It won’t happen again.

Etsy goodness.

Friday, August 19th, 2011

There is a website called Etsy that is a place for you to sell your artistic wares. Anyone can join and sell anything they make. Here’s the problem with that: anyone can join and sell anything they make. That means that a huge percentage of the things on there are lame. Not good, not bad, just utterly, completely meh. Thousands and thousands of crafters, selling the equivalent of macaroni and glitter on construction paper. Now, there’s a phenomenal website called Regretsy which focuses on the most crappity of crappity art on Etsy, but I am always wondering who is awesome on Etsy. So I made a folder on my desktop and over some time, I have assembled a small group of extremely talented people whose art you should check out as soon as possible.

Bunny X Productions

Polymer clay octopi with articulated limbs – and one is a zombie! Who could ask for more? I want a brain fob for my keychain.

The Royal Creature

Raku plant holders that look like monsters. I love the fact that the planter is the primary artistic element, as opposed to background element to the plants (as planters normally are). Number #3 is my favorite. “I’m gonna hug you!”

Papercuts by Joe

Hot diggety, this man knows his way around a knife. Would you look at that papercut of the building? I have mad respect for this man.

Justin Bagley

Glass + sea creatures = awesome. That’s it, people. Simple math.

Tiny World in a Bottle

Teeny-tiny paper sculptures in teeny-tiny bottles. I would wear them around my neck and any time I got bored, I would just stare into them and get lost inside.

Billyblue22

My favorite of all. Metal animal skulls and glass eye rings and all kinds of general awesomeness. Snorth owns a necklace by this guy and in person it is equally great. I haven’t decided which piece of his I’m going to buy, they’re all so beautiful.

Museums. (Musea? Museii? Whatever.)

Monday, July 11th, 2011

This past weekend I went to two museums. One was the Museum of Sex and the other was The Metropolitan Museum of Art, specifically to see the Alexander McQueen “Savage Beauty” exhibit. First, the Museum of Sex. It was okay. I’m going to make an analogy: Often places that specialize in sexual material are skeezy, like a middle-aged man with scruffy gray five-o’clock shadow and a dirty trenchcoat that doesn’t cover his knobby knees rubbing his hands together and chuckling softly to himself. That kind of gross. The Museum of Sex, however, more resembled a New York lady with oddly-shaped glasses who goes to gallery openings and gives lectures on women discovering their sexual selves in front of a giant painting of rockets. It was a lovely museum, although quite small. There were three exhibitions: Sex in Cartoons (lots of R. Crumb and Tom of Finland), Sex in Film (lots of…sex in film), and The Sexual Lives of Animals. Cricket and I saw an exhibit in London called Sexual Nature which was all about the sex lives of animals, so we thought that this would be the same. We were wrong. The one in London was all tongue-in-cheek, charming and naughty. This one was more ANIMALS BE DOING DURTY THANGS. There were life-size paper-mache sculptures of the animals doing the no-no acts, but in the interest of good taste I only took pictures of the placards near the art. There was this one:

This one:

And my personal favorite:

I’m surprised Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum haven’t outlawed Mallard ducks. If I were them, I would.

By the way, the funniest thing I saw there was a security guard who was clearly hired from some big agency and was profoundly displeased about working at MoSex (as the kids call it) with a black and shiny gold tie that read “I LOVE JESUS” over and over and over. It was his tiny little protest. Cricket and I were like, oooh honey, you need to find another line of work.

In somewhat keeping with the sensual theme, I went with Neenernator to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see the Alexander McQueen exhibition. Alexander McQueen was a brilliant fashion designer who recently died, and this was a big retrospective of his work. I was vaguely familiar with this clothing and accessories, but now I think he might be my favorite designer. He was extremely concerned with taking the normal lines of the body and reshaping it – making different parts look longer or shorter or thinner or fatter, putting things in the incorrect place. Artists like Lady Gaga and Bjork really liked his work. McQueen stated that some of his influences were Tim Burton, The Brothers Grimm and Edgar Allen Poe. You’ll notice there’s a lot of references to death in his work, as well as S&M. At best, his clothes were uncomfortable to wear, and at worst they were probably a bit painful. I’m going to show you some of the more impacting pieces.

At the end of most fashion shows, they finish with the wedding dress. I love the fact that McQueen used antlers in one of his. I was told by my mother that under no circumstances was I allowed to ever get married with antlers on. She never lets me do anything.

One of the things McQueen was most well-known for was the lobster shoe. It is a ballet-shoe with a crazy-tall heel and the front bit protrudes out, making it look like a lobster claw.

Here’s a tattoo someone got of the lobster shoe. Hardcore, dude, hardcore.

My favorite dress that changed the perceived silhouette of the body was a dress I called the Christina Hendricks dress, because, well, it puts padding where one would have it if one was Christina Hendricks. Here two pictures of Christina Hendricks:

And here’s the Christina Hendricks dress:

My favorite dress was the horse dress. It’s molded to look like a nude woman on top, and then the bottom flares out and has horsehair hanging below. What makes this dress so great is the bottom flounces like the ponytail of the snottiest cheerleader in your high school.

And if you watch this video from 2:59 to 3:09, you can see the skirt-flouncing in action.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5gY5DXrb48&

My second-favorite item was the jacket made from the skin of a Thompson’s Gazelle with gazelle horns coming out of the shoulders. You don’t need to wear makeup or earrings or anything with that, the horns do all the work for you.

There were also some stellar accessories on display. Like the face disc:

And the metal jaw:

And let’s not forget the external metal skeleton corset or the feathered ear things:

But, not surprisingly, I was drawn, once again, to wearing dead things as ornament. Specifically McQueen’s dead bird phase. At one point I turned to Neenernator and said, “IMMA GO KILL A DUCK.”

So, today I went on the internet and looked up dead birds I could purchase. It turns out that whole dead bird skins are kind of expensive. I wanted to buy this Grey Peacock Pheasant skin, but it was $300.

And since I have less than no idea what I’m doing, I decided to go with some starling skins that are a mere $7.00 each.

We’ll see what I make of this. I have been inspired. I may very well go and see the exhibit again. I recommend you see it too. It closes August 7th.

Birds of Prey Day.

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

For weeks now I’ve been looking forward to going to Birds of Prey Day in Brewster, NY. It’s on a farm and the poster said there would be 100 birds of prey there! You know what that means: OWLS. I was so excited I didn’t know what to do with myself. Cricket and I drove up to Brewster (a 45-minute drive) and OMG I’M GONNA SEE A MILLION OWLS!!

Okay, so it was a bit of a letdown. There were indeed about 100 birds of prey, but they were mostly eagles and hawks and falcons. In fact, this was predominantly run by a falconer’s association, so people were walking around with scary killer birds on their arms like it was no big deal. There was this bird:

And this one:

And this and this and this and also this:

And this adorable baby goshawk who was soft and warm and precious:

And they’re beautiful, but I really dig owls. Owls are my bag, man. What I learned there is owls are not for having. If you’re a member of the falconer’s association (which I could never be because I live in an apartment and you need to have a falconer’s outdoor area which must be approved by the association) you can slowly (over seven years) work up the falconry ladder getting to bigger and more dangerous birds, but at no point can you have an owl. You cannot buy an owl. You cannot acquire an owl. There are no owls to be had. I was very forlorn. It seems my dream of owl ownership is slowly fading away.

But not all was lost! There was a wildlife rehabilitation group there and they had some owls! Granted, they didn’t have the ones I really wanted to see (Eastern Screech or Saw-Whet) but they had this lovely one that was trying to catch a bit of a snooze, I think it’s a Barred Owl:

And a grumpy-pants horned one who gave me some serious stink-eye.

I love how because their eyes work independently in a lot of ways (pupils dilate and contract, eyelids blink) it looks like there are two separate expressions on their faces.

The best owl experience of the day was a with a wee tiny fellow. He was a short-eared owl, and he was a seething tiny puffball of rage in a wooden holding thing. I asked the nice rehabilitator man if he could pull out the little guy for me so I could get a shot of him and he said, “No, and I’ll tell you why. That bird is new, he’s wild and he’s feisty. But I’ll take a picture of him if you’d like.” I handed him my camera, and the man walked up slowly to the box, snapped a photo as quickly as he could and pulled his hand out of there. I found it great that this large, six-foot-one man was wary of this itty-bitty tiny smootchie demon-beast. Here’s the photo.

Evil Death-Bird…of DEATH! And Cuteness! But mainly DEATH!

There was also a wolf at the Birds of Prey Day, and that was kind of exciting. The wolf handlers were really nervous about having the wolf be around so many kids, but I was psyched. “Wha…? There might be a mauling? I don’t want to miss that! Lemme get my funnel cake and I’ll be right there!” However, this was the most mellow wild animal I have ever seen in my life.

The wolf handler asked the audience if anyone had a really fragrant perfume or lotion and someone did, so she poured it on the ground, and the wolf rolled around in it. He does that to mask his scent from his prey. So now, before his prey is taken down, it will be wondering why the forest smells like Bath and Body Works.

Artists who I think are outstanding.

Monday, May 16th, 2011

I’m constantly on the prowl for new and exciting illustrators and artists, mainly because I feel like I am perpetually inundated with crappy stuff, so when I see something that stands out from the crowd of mundacity, I get excited and I feel the need to share it with others. Here are two of them.

El Mac is a street artist, predominantly focused on portraits, who does the most amazing work with spray paint. We are all familiar with the typical ways spray paint is used and we’ve all seen some stellar graffiti work. What makes El Mac different is the way he handles gradations by layering the spray over and over in arcs until it reaches the tone he’s trying to achieve. I’ve never seen anything like it. Also, he often works in conjunction with another artist, I don’t know his name, who does these calligraphic elements all around the El Mac faces. It’s a terrific collaboration.

And his phenomenal tonal work is equally impressive in his fine art. He does these painted portraits with a brush and a limited palette of colors. El Mac makes these lines and swirls and by using different thickness of brush stroke he carves light and dark out of the surface. It reminds me of those sand paintings by Tibetan monks – the patience and the precision. And it looks like he freehands quite a bit, which blows my mind.

And the other artist is Audrey Kawasaki. I can’t believe I haven’t blogged about her before. I am a huge fan. HUGE. I love her work. She does paintings on wood, using both a glazing of oil paints and occasionally colored pencils, often allowing the grain of the wood to show through. Most of her images include a sleepy-looking nymphet with natural elements around her in some way. There’s a great deal of art nouveau influence and traditional Japanese art in there, but it’s a style all her own.

I will never ever ever own any of her work for two reasons: one, every time she has a exhibition, her work is snapped up long before it opens, and two, since it is so popular, it goes for insanely high prices. So I must enjoy Audrey’s work from a distance. Sigh.