Archive for the ‘Random Art Bloggery’ Category

The Internet is a gift.*

Friday, July 13th, 2018

1. The Bulgarian Kukeri Festival! Who’s coming with me?

The definition according to Wikipedia:

Kukeri are elaborately costumed Bulgarian men who perform traditional rituals intended to scare away evil spirits. Closely related traditions are found throughout the Balkans and Greece (including Romania and the Pontus). The costumes cover most of the body and include decorated wooden masks of animals (sometimes double-faced) and large bells attached to the belt. Around New Year and before Lent, the kukeri walk and dance through villages to scare away evil spirits with their costumes and the sound of their bells. They are also believed to provide a good harvest, health, and happiness to the village during the year.

The kukeri traditionally visit peoples’ houses at night so that “the sun would not catch them on the road.” After parading around the village they usually gather at the village square to dance wildly and amuse the people. Kukeri rituals vary by region but remain largely the same in essence.

 

2. This earthworm is called a Fried Egg Earthworm. It is extremely well-named.

 

3. Everyone is familiar with The Bean in Chicago, yes? Big silver blobule in the middle of a plaza? People were setting up group meetings on Facebook and the poor Bean got roped into it. What did The Bean ever do to you, Chicagoans?? Leave The Bean out of your shenanigans! #BeanDrama

 

 

4. Badly placed quote marks range from not-quite-right to ominous to terrifying.

 

5. While I have no particular desire to go to Coachella I would have liked to have seen this wire building in person.

Here is an article on the artist. https://www.curbed.com/2018/4/13/17236160/edoardo-tresoldi-coachella-etherea-wire-mesh-sculptures

 

6. I think I got it. The bikers and dogwalkers yield to the hikers who yield to the horseback riders and all of them yield to the truck. Am I right? Did I win something?

*When curated well. Otherwise, it is awaaaaaaaaaaaash with garbage and nightmares.

FIFA World Cup.

Sunday, July 8th, 2018

Can we all agree that the logo for the world cup this year looks exactly like something The Collector from the Marvel movies would have? Something with Power Jewels or Planetary Essence or some crap? Can we agree on that, please? Thank you.

   

Whipped Cream Ballet.

Friday, July 6th, 2018

I went to the ballet with The Moomins, y’all! It was my birthday present from her to me. We went to the Metropolitan Opera House in Lincoln Center, known for its profoundly awesome light fixtures. I have been going there since I was a wee tot and you’d think I’d be used to the chandeliers by now. I am not. I stare at them and greet them like old friends and God forbid one day I am allowed to touch one, I may lose my cool in an epic fashion. Fluids will come out of my face. There will be drool and tears.

I could buy a small one but I don’t feel like dropping three grand on it. Maybe one day. When I win the lottery. After I buy a ticket.

Anyway, culture and art. I own several books featuring the work of the artist Mark Ryden. I don’t know if I’ve spoken about him before, but he is a spectacular oil painter who predominantly paints three things: Lincoln, prepubescent girls, and meat. I don’t know why that’s his jam but it is. Regardless of his odd subject matter the quality of his painting, specifically the detailwork, is about as good as it gets. Here are some samples of some of my favorites of his.

     

Ryden is clearly influenced by one of my favorite painters Jan Van Eyck (famous for his mastery of the oil paint medium and all of his people lookin’ like Vladimir Putin.)

ABT (American Ballet Theater) has a artist-in-residence, Alexei Ratmansky, who decided to bring back this obscure ballet from 1924 called “Schlagobers” (“Whipped Cream On Top” in German). It was written because WWI had just happened and there needed to be some light and joy brought into the world. Alexei thought the only person who could capture the creepy saccharine quality of this ballet was this particular painter so Ryden made illustrations which were then translated into stage sets and costumes by professional set designers and costumers and it’s something else, I tells ya. Here’s a picture from the ABT website.

I was astonished by how faithful the sets and costumes were to Ryden’s original drawings. It’s perfect. It’s a ballet in two acts. The first act was lovely but kind of meh. Nothing particularly special happens.

  

The second act, however, is where the magic is. It opens with a hospital where a giant-headed doctor dances with nurses carrying giant syringes.

 

And then after they leave a parade of insanity saunters out on stage. I might have straight-up cheered. I could not find an adequate picture. Here’s Ryden’s original interpretation.

And that’s precisely what waltzed across the stage. Here are sections of it.

   

Here’s the best picture I could find from the end of the ballet.

Are you seeing this? Are you appreciating the giant two-person yeti? Are you appreciating the candy worm who drags himself across the stage on a little dolly and waves his tail around in support of the other dancers? Are you appreciating the tall thing with the ears which is called the Long Neck Piggy? The small children dressed as cupcakes who hop up and down with elastic suspenders so their cupcakes go boing boing boing? It does not get old.

In addition there were three anthropomorphic bottles of alcohol that get the doctor and nurses drunk so the main character can escape the hospital (don’t ask, the plot is not the strongest element to this ballet) and they were fantastic. You can see them in this photo – one guy was Vodka, one guy was Slivovitz (Eastern European plum liquor) and the girl was champagne.

I would recommend seeing this ballet because it’s amazingly weird and you know, Ryden. Here are a few other drawings of his.

 

 

A little amuse-bouche of charts to brighten up your day.

Monday, July 2nd, 2018

Black Mass and WOW the cocaine must have been good in the 80s.

Tuesday, June 26th, 2018

Movies! I saw Black Mass, the story of the real-life bad guy Jimmy “Whitey” Bulger who was on the FBI’s Most Wanted List for twelve years, directly after Osama Bin Laden. Very naughty man. Mr. Bulger is played by Johnny Depp who does a bang-up job of being absolutely terrifying. Bulger got the nickname “Whitey” for having blonde hair and light blue eyes, so Mr. Depp, being sallow and dark, donned a wig and a nose extension and a janky front tooth and contacts and false eyelids and gosh darnit if he didn’t pull it off. I was definitely creeped out.

This film takes place between 1975 and 1981 in Boston where The Winter Hill Gang did all the things one associates with crime associations: drugs, racketeering, some light murder of enemies and/or snitches, money laundering, extortion, etc. The movie is extremely well done and aside from Benedict Cumberbatch’s appalling Boston accent (Seriously? Were no American actors available for that role? It’s not even a big or important role) it’s a pretty flawless film. My only complaint, which is my complaint about a lot of good cinema, is that I wish this was a miniseries so it didn’t feel so tight time-wise. My favorite aspect was how beautifully Black Mass was shot and colored. The composition choices were striking.

I mean, you look at this and tell me it’s not a Renaissance painting. I dare you.

Now we delve into some stuff from the 1980s. Growing up alone in a house full of forty-and fifty-year-olds I missed out on just about every iconic 1980s film. I’m only now catching up. So when I saw that The Running Man (1987) and Flash Gordon (1980) were playing on channels that don’t take out cursewords, violence or sex I DVR’ed both of them and then hunkered down to absorb the vintage magic and I have no regrets. I love a fine piece of cinema like I enjoy an exquisitely aged brie cheese, but I also love a garbage campy movie they way I enjoy that nacho cheeez that comes in the yogurt tubs at the movie theater. I have range. First, The Running Man.

1. I do not understand why we as a nation insisted on pretending that Arnold Schwartzenegger is a born and bred American when his accent is fooling precisely no one. His character’s name is Ben Richards. I mean, c’mon with that.

2.The film takes place in 2017 which always amuses me – when a movie tries to predict what the future is going to be like. It reminds me of these every time:

3. I learned that the film takes place in 2017 from the scroll of text at the beginning which was in what I assume is a futuristic font but is actually kinda hard to read. I had to rewind and watch it twice. The S looks like a B and the R looks like an A and the D looks like an O, it’s not a great time.

“TELEVIBION IB CONTADLLED BY THE BTATE ANO A BAOISTIC GAME BHDW CALLED”

I felt like I was reading an eye chart.

4. Uhhhhh, why did no one tell me Arnold looks so good with a beard and why didn’t we encourage him to rock that all the time? He looked smexy as hell.

5. Snorth informed me that there’s a song that sampled Richard Dawson’s lines from the film. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKduhUXa0rg
I would have listened to this incessantly as a high schooler had I known about it. I might listen to it incessantly now. Again, my taste has a large range.

6. Who when they saw the name “Richard Dawson” in the opening credits thought that a British man was going to tell us there is no God and the definition of the word “meme”? Just me? Never mind.

7. Favorite part of the film: The Running Man dancers who were choreographed by Paula Abdul. I could have watched an hour and a half of them in their high-cut leotards and glitter-sprayed hair and I would have been content with that. And my favorite part of my favorite part was the dancer who lifts her leg up as Arnold is led by to his potential death. It’s like she thought, “That light is going to hit me as he goes past and it’s my chance to shine! Acknowledge my flexibility! Side split! Boom!” It happens at the 1:18 mark on this link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GytcPIpgDlQ

Also of note is the Martha Graham modern dance piece to commemorate the gruesome passing of two beloved killers. This movie is gloriously weird.

8. Second favorite part: Fat blonde man in a Lite Brite-encrusted clear plastic gladiator uniform who sings opera and shoots electricity to kill his victims. None of that is a typo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy8rT8oHCbI

I would recommend The Running Man because it’s not good but definitely not bad either. It’s “of a time” and should be seen as such. It’s a fun laundry-folding-while-you’re-watching kind of thing.

 

Then there was Flash Gordon. I knew the music from this film for a long time because I listened to a lot of Queen. I assumed (foolishly as hell it turns out) that if Queen was involved it would be a good film. Max Von Sidow’s in it! Dino De Laurentiis produced it! It had a ginormous budget! The aforementioned Queen soundtrack! It had to be good!

It was not good.

What was great was the sets and costumes. They were top notch.

If I had to sum up the costumes with one phrase, it would be “bugle beads.” HOLY CRAP the use of bugle beads on these outfits, I’m surprised any bugle beads are left in the world. In case you don’t know, a bugle bead is like a long glass seed bead often lined on the inside with metal for added reflectibility.

The costumes and headdresses were slathered in rows and rows of bugle beads. They were glued down. They were sewed on. It was out of control.

There’s an attempt at a movie around the sets and costumes. I won’t bother to sum it up. It’s boring and whatever happens and no one cares. I would recommend turning the sound completely off and having it play in the background a party for people to look at when they’re not schmoozing with other party-goers. That’s it. It’s not even worth watching with sound for the Queen music. Tres tres disappointement.

I made a thing.

Sunday, June 17th, 2018

Does everyone know about my ongoing feud with Russia? Specifically, how goshdurned good they are at crafting and how I feel compelled to crush them with my talent? I believe I mentioned it here. And here. In keeping with this quixotic quest I received an email from my sister K. with pictures of bead-woven necklaces from a Russian website. Even though I couldn’t read anything I looked at the pictures and I really liked the wildflower look of the pieces.

Specifically this one.

While viewing this unabashed awesome talent I got all huffy and was like NOT THIS TIME, RUSSIA. IT’S MY TIME TO SHINE. So I decided to make a lariat for myself using only beads I already own with leaves and seeds at the bottom. I found a whole bunch of really pretty twisted metallic / rose gold-like bugle beads so I worked off of that and made this. I think it turned out pretty great.

If you decide to make a necklace like this, might I recommend what I did which is build all the leaf / seed elements separately and then assemble them as you make the dangly components. That way if you make something that isn’t working (which happened to me) you can simply unravel the cord and remove the leaves and seeds, then fix it and put them back on. No harm, no foul.

Fun fact: I did a Google image search to find out the name of the artist of those wildflower necklaces and it is… Margo Fields. A woman from New Mexico. Not a Russian. I got all riled up for nothing. I don’t regret creating the lariat, it is a piece I will wear and it was a nice stretch for me, but perhaps in the future I should do research before I get a bunch of cyrillic bees in my bonnet unnecessarily.

 

Some artists I am feeling right now.

Friday, June 1st, 2018

Oh, there’s a good crop of artists out there this spring. So much delicious, delicious talent.

First, there’s Amanda Louise Spayd. I had seen her work on various websites and every time my eyes would be immediately drawn to it. She works in mixed media using (from what I can tell) resin, fabric, polymer or epoxy clay, wire, vintage bits and bobs and buttons, etc. I love how all of Spayd’s soft sculptures have a look that’s a mix of horror and concern.

Spayd works with other artists and also sometimes moves away from the cloth-based interpretations into harder mediums. And she does super-sweet drawings.

Her is her website: http://www.amandalouise.com/

And here is her shop: https://www.bindlewood.com/

It appears that she doesn’t sell her soft sculptures in her store, you probably have to contact a gallery that sells her pieces.

 

Then, there’s Philip Barlow. I am a huge fan of photorealistic paintings. I have a poster in my home by Richard Estes of people in phone booths that is a favorite of mine.

I think what I love about Estes’ work is how he makes the most mundane of imagery into works of art.

Philip Barlow does something similar. He takes a very ordinary subject, people going about their daily lives, and by taking the reference photo out of focus and then painting the result, creates beautiful color fields filled with colored circles where you know most of the information but there’s enough left out for you to imagine.

If you have mad cash you can purchase his work here: https://www.everard-read-capetown.co.za/artist/PHILIP_BARLOW/works/1599

If you’re more like me you can purchase prints of his work here (and they have a great selection): https://www.icanvas.com/canvas-art-prints/artist/philip-barlow

Back from the dead, it’s… KITCHEN!!! (ominous chord of music, women screaming in the distance)

Sunday, May 27th, 2018

Uh God. Yeah, so. The kitchen. Remember that? Well, the good news is I tiled the entire backsplash, all of it. Every square inch. Very proud. Pictures later. Now bad news. The countertop, which I poured several years ago, has yellowed considerably. I used a resin that swore up and down it did not turn yellow over time and granted, it happened pretty slowly but it indeed happened and it looks tolerable because it’s supposed to be water, but it’s definitely not the color I wanted. Ignore the cloudiness, that was intentional because the resin has clear glitter mixed into it. Here’s what it looked like freshly painted:

And here’s what it looks like now.

I found the original paints and put some dots to show you how far it’s gone.

Luckily I am the owner and creator of this kitchen so I can deal with this myself. Again, it looks fine because it’s supposed to be water but I want it how I want it and I’m going to get it to how I want it come hell or high water. So Cricket graciously took out my sink:

And my stove:

I bought a fancy sander that oscillates and I am sanding down the resin considerably until it’s pretty thin.

Once it’s the thickness and smoothness I need, I’m going to repaint all the elements which is simple because I can see exactly what I’m supposed to do through the resin. I’ll just paint them on top, no stencils required. After that the scary part happens. I won’t pour resin again, so I can either:

1 – Roll on several coats of a sealant which will leave a very slightly nubbly texture that I’m fine with, or

2 – Spray on several coats of a sealant which will leave a very slightly nubbly texture that I’m fine with.

Most people use resin because they want a glass-like smooth finish that’s easy to clean but that’s not necessary for my project. I can wash food smears off of a slightly nubbly texture just fine. That’s what a “leather finish granite countertop” is. It’s very slightly textured. I’ll conduct a variety of tests and leave them in the sunlight for a portion of the summer to see what happens.

I’m also going to swap out my incandescent kitchen lights for non-UV LED lights. That will probably help as well. Wish me luck.

 

Addendum:

Here’s a video that shows how resins yellow over time. Be careful which ones you use, regardless of what they say.

And here’s what I’ve bought to test out on my sample board:

 

Mmmmm, charts, fresh from the oven. Smells good, don’t they?

Thursday, May 24th, 2018

 

This entire series is interesting:

Internet musings.

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018

1. I was on Amazon buying something unnecessary and this ad popped up because Amazon clearly knows its target audience:

I was faced with a quandary. If I was going to watch this game (I wasn’t), who would I root for? Normally I root for the animal, but these are both animals. What’s a girl to do? I decided I would root for the Seahawks because they have a bird of prey name and I love owls (it’s a stretch but let’s work with it) AND even though I adore female cardinals (their drab coloring compliments the redness in their beak) I’ve noticed cardinals are very mean to the other birds at bird feeders and I don’t want to be complicit in that. So I would support the Seahawks. SPORTS FAN!

 

2. Everyone know what a black metal band is? Wikipedia says:

Black metal is an extreme subgenre of heavy metal music. Common traits include fast tempos, a shrieking vocal style, heavily distorted guitars played with tremolo picking, raw (lo-fi) recording, unconventional song structures, and an emphasis on atmosphere. Artists often appear in corpse paint and adopt pseudonyms.

You can go on YouTube, there’s a ton of videos there. A thing that is extremely common amongst black metal bands are illegible spiky tumbleweed-resembling logos.

There are great memes out there that illustrate my point:

So, with all this in mind, Snorth’s husband Speeb sent me this on Facebook:

And I tried to figure out the names. I really, really tried. I felt like I was at an eye exam. Here is my response:

 

3. Look at this sea cucumber video! It’s like a little pulsating sphincter and then BOOM! Arms outta nowhere. I love it.

https://gif87a-com.tumblr.com/post/167984024750/this-sea-cucumber-waking-up-to-eat

 

4. Jackson Hole, Wyoming. A place… with people, I guess. I don’t know anything about it. What I do know is there was a camera – you know what? I’m not going to explain. The pictures explain themselves.

 

5. I could watch this gif all day. What awesome costumes. I am so impressed.

 

6. So Maxine Waters is a congresswoman from California and she is relatively famous for the phrase “reclaiming my time.” Refer to this video for clarification:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EvuBakBj3I

And God bless the internet, because now there’s this and I watch it at least once every couple of days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4u3nt-TFXM

 

Addendum: “99 Red Balloons” played on red balloons.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZND9dApFKU