Archive for the ‘Random Art Bloggery’ Category

Mmmm, sleep cocoon.

Thursday, September 1st, 2011

My friend posted this on Pinterest, and apparently someone out there has upped the ante on the LoveCake game.

Hey, whoever did this cake? IT’S ON. I don’t know who you are, but the next time I make a cake, it will DESTROY you with its awesomeness. You done brought the clouds, so don’t be surprised when it rains. BOOYAH.

Anyway, I was looking on NotCot.org today, a website B. turned me on to, and I saw something someone invented for sleeping in weird places. Let me tell you something important about myself: I love sleeping. It might just be my most favorite thing ever. I refuse to let anyone sleep near me because I am unwilling to compromise my sleeping style (thrashing, pillow scrunching, snoring, etc.) And, on select occasions, I have been known to pass out face-down on my desk. Therefore, this product was made for me. What amuses me no end about it is how she looks like a molting pillbug who’s been on a bender for a while and is worse for wear. They need to work on how to make the sleep cocoon look less conspicuous than sleeping face-down on the desk. But, trust me when I say this, if this comes out in stores, I will be first in line to get it.

http://www.forrestjessee.com/198768/SLEEP-SUIT

Etsy goodness.

Friday, August 19th, 2011

There is a website called Etsy that is a place for you to sell your artistic wares. Anyone can join and sell anything they make. Here’s the problem with that: anyone can join and sell anything they make. That means that a huge percentage of the things on there are lame. Not good, not bad, just utterly, completely meh. Thousands and thousands of crafters, selling the equivalent of macaroni and glitter on construction paper. Now, there’s a phenomenal website called Regretsy which focuses on the most crappity of crappity art on Etsy, but I am always wondering who is awesome on Etsy. So I made a folder on my desktop and over some time, I have assembled a small group of extremely talented people whose art you should check out as soon as possible.

Bunny X Productions

Polymer clay octopi with articulated limbs – and one is a zombie! Who could ask for more? I want a brain fob for my keychain.

The Royal Creature

Raku plant holders that look like monsters. I love the fact that the planter is the primary artistic element, as opposed to background element to the plants (as planters normally are). Number #3 is my favorite. “I’m gonna hug you!”

Papercuts by Joe

Hot diggety, this man knows his way around a knife. Would you look at that papercut of the building? I have mad respect for this man.

Justin Bagley

Glass + sea creatures = awesome. That’s it, people. Simple math.

Tiny World in a Bottle

Teeny-tiny paper sculptures in teeny-tiny bottles. I would wear them around my neck and any time I got bored, I would just stare into them and get lost inside.

Billyblue22

My favorite of all. Metal animal skulls and glass eye rings and all kinds of general awesomeness. Snorth owns a necklace by this guy and in person it is equally great. I haven’t decided which piece of his I’m going to buy, they’re all so beautiful.

People who are unnecessarily talented. Not fair.

Thursday, August 18th, 2011

First of all, a video that made me laugh for a solid five minutes. Anyone wonder what a horse race looks like inside my head? Well, wonder no more.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/chrismenning/typical-horse-racing-in-japan

Now, on to the talent portion of our competition. I like to think I have some skills in some areas. However, often I am shown that I am not awesome in any way, shape or form. I would like to share some videos of people making me feel useless right now.

1. Some Japanese men making mochi. Be sure to watch the bit between the pounder thing and the bare hands.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HKnHnUk0S8&

2. This policeman riding a motorcycle all smooth-like around super-tight turns. You know how this would go for me? Get on motorcycle. Progress five feet forward. Fall over, most likely with the motorcycle on top of me. Moan until someone rescues me. The end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJxOsYh12yY&

3. And finally, the Nike basketball commercial from 2001. Damn. DAMN. It made me want to learn how to bounce that tangerine orb like a pro.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kSmis2g3SI&

Burlesque Activitay.

Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

Cricket and I went on another activitay. This time we went to the Upper West Side to watch some burlesque.

Burlesque, in case you don’t know, is when lovely ladies take off their clothes for you. However, do not confuse this with stripping. With stripping, it’s about taking your clothes off and getting the customer hot and bothered so he gives you money. With burlesque, the titillation is nowhere near as important as the entertainment value. Some of these girls looked real regular, with no fake parts and large hips, etc. Also, they wear g-strings and pasties, so you never see the, ahem, primary and secondary sexual characteristics, if you will. And sometimes the nice ladies do comedy or sing as well, it’s a full-service show. The particular show we saw was hosted by a  great woman named (I’m not making this up) World Famous *BOB*. Here is a picture of World Famous *BOB* and her giant gazongas, Snookie and Pookie. They were additional characters in her show, like enormous fleshy puppets. We got to know them very well. She was wearing the pink evening ensemble you see in that first picture.

And here’s a picture of World Famous *BOB* with her pink-tinted toy poodle, Movie Star. She spoke at great length about Movie Star. I feel like I know this dog now.

There were a whole bunch of acts, and they did two numbers each. One woman, Minnie Tonka, did a number to “You Spin Me Right Round (Like A Record)”, she had pasties that she attached records to and they spun! That got a lot of cheers. One girl, Tansy, did a lovely striptease as Snow White from Disney, with a little birdie on her finger, so now I can’t imagine it without copious amounts of nudity and tassel-twirling. The headliner, Nasty Canasta, did a classic fan dance, but using a box fan (clever), and another woman, Darlinda Just Darlinda did a great number where (this is going to sound demented) she kept acting like she was smelling her pits to a classic French song. But, you know, like a lady. It was a hoot. In October there’s going to be The Golden Pastie Awards at the Highline Ballroom, and I may go to that.

http://highlineballroom.com/bio.php?id=2029

Activitays with Cricket.

Monday, July 4th, 2011

Cricket and I tend to stay indoors and be little homebodies, so lately he has been insisting we get out of the house and do things. “Activitays”, he calls them. I send him emails of goings-on with titles like, “Possible activitay?” (or, if I’m sure he’ll be into it, “ACTIVITAY!”). So this past weekend, we made a day in the big city. In early afternoon we went to the Pompeii exhibit that’s on right now in Times Square. Even though it’s expensive ($25) and it’s got unnecessary cheesy special effects (Really? Do I need a constant rumbling soundtrack blasting out of speakers everywhere? Really? I get it. Volcano. Everyone died. Ominous. Oogy-boogy. I get it.), I recommend it. The thing I found most astonishing about the large quantity of artifacts was how similar they are to the things we have today. The anchors looked the same. They had loaded die for cheating and games. They had scales with weights for measuring and plumbing with valves. It’s amazing how advanced civilization was so early on. That was all in the pre-Vesuvius-erupting section. Then they let us into the post-Vesuvius erupting section, where all the casts of the bodies were. The most crisp and realistic-looking one was definitely the dog.

For anyone who doesn’t understand what we’re looking at, here’s what happened: Pompeii was blanketed in a thick layer of suffocating ash and toxic gases from the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius. This ash lay twelve feet thick over all the bodies of the deseased. Eventually, the ash hardened and the bodies decomposed, leaving body-shaped cavities in the now-hardened ash. These cast were all made of the negative space left behind, which apparently looked like this.

It was definitely worth going.

After that, Cricket and I headed over to the Highline. It’s been open for a while now, but I haven’t had a chance to walk it. The Highline was an elevated train track that had been sitting abandoned above the avenues on the west side of New York. Instead of tearing it down, they turned it into a park. Yay! Recycling in a positive way! It goes from 30th Street to 14th Street, and we walked the whole thing. Aside from having lovely plants all along the edge, there was also some art. At the base of the northern part was a small amusement park installation by Friends With You, and art group that I like a great deal.

Then, as you progress downtown, there’s a series of birdhouses which are, much to my dismay, kind of dumb. How did I come to this conclusion? Well, even though there was copious amounts of food and water and shelter, there was, in fact, no birds. Perhaps because it was mere inches from the walkway where thousands of people are traipsing by, I don’t know. I do know that if I was a bird and massive hoardes of giant loud monsters were thumping by on their giant feet all damn day, I wouldn’t set up residence there. I’m just sayin’.

Further down the Highline widens out and there’s an awesome piece of art there. There’s an overhang with a long strip of those small-paned windows that were so popular in industrial buildings back in the day. Now, according to the placard nearby, the artist went on an 11-hour boat trip on the Hudson and took a picture of the water every minute or so. I’m not sure if the artist took the dominant color or the color of the pixel in the center, but he did one of those two things and each pane of glass is assigned a color in the order they were taken, left to right, top to down, in rows. It’s so beautiful. Here’s a small piece of it.

Right across from the windows was a man selling homemade popsicles, and in front of him was a big block of ice. I said to Cricket, “I must have whatever that block of ice is associated with,” so when we got up to the front of the line, we just gesticulated towards the block, as if to say, “Please, do…whatever it is you do with that and give it to us, thank you.” The popsicle man then took a planing device with a cup at the end, like a diesel cheese grater, and he went skkkskskkhhsksshhh across the surface and filled the cup with shaved ice, and then he poured homemade rhubarb sweetened juice over the whole thing. Fabulous. If I ever have a fancypants backyard party, I will have a shaved-ice guy because it looks cool and it is delicious, which is a great pair.

Cricket and I purchased a Time Out magazine and looked through it, so hopefully there will be more exciting activitays to come.

More artists I be diggin’.

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

Yapyap is a new artist for me. I only recently discovered her and she is delightful.

I think she’s Scandinavian and I really feel her Scandinavian-ness because her work reminds me of the Moomin books. Did anyone read the Moomin books as a child? They’re a series of books by Tove Jansson, a Finish/Swedish author, and they’re about a forest creature called a Moomin, the various adventures it has and the creatures it meets along the way. I just read the Wikipedia entry on the Moomin books and this line make me smile:

Some of Jansson’s characters are on the verge of melancholy, such as the always formal Hemulen, or the strange Hattifatteners who travel in concerted, ominous groups. Jansson uses the differences between the characters’ philosophies to provide a venue for her satirical impulses. The novelist Alison Lurie has described the Groke, a black, hill-shaped creation with glowing eyes, as a walking manifestation of Nordic gloominess – everyone she touches dies, and the ground freezes everywhere she sits.

I’m officially changing my name to A Walking Manifestation of Baltic Gloominess*. Then, when people complain that I’m negative and crotchety (which I am most of the time), I can whip out a business card and point to my name, like, “See?” But I digress. I think Yapyap has done a great job of combining hand-painted elements with computer-generated elements. It’s kind of hard to get them to meld smoothly. Also, I love her color choices – some really bright, some really muted. Yapyap’s work is charming and I want her to make a video game, like Little Big Planet, but with her characters. I think that would be super-swell.

The other artist I wanted to touch on is Motoi Yamamoto. Ever since his sister died, he’s been working in salt. He makes complicated patterns on the floor with salt. His patience and thoroughness is so impressive.

Apparently Motoi is very connected with the earth, so when his shows are over he sweeps up all the salt and returns it to the sea. All I can think about when I watch him work is how quickly my legs would fall asleep, sitting indian-style on the floor for a million hours with a squeezie-bottle of salt. Ungh. I’m getting stiff just thinking about it. That kind of dedication to one’s craft is commendable. And I love that he deviated from the labyrinth style to do the cherry blossom piece. It’s neat to see him explore new and different terrain within his chosen style.

*I have to make it Baltic not Nordic because my people are originally from Latvia, Lithuania and the Ukraine, but it’s very cold and dark there too so I think the gloom is transferable.

Chris Hardwick.

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

I am a big fan of a standup comedian named Chris Hardwick. Chris, in addition to being a delightful standup arteeste, hosts a variety of shows on G4 and has a website (http://www.nerdist.com/) and has a podcast that I listen to and apparently has written a book and talks at comic-cons, etc. I found out that he was performing on Friday (yay!) in Brooklyn (boo!), so I bought tickets for Cricket and m’self and we trundled off to deep dark Hipsterville to enjoy comedy. I wanted a good seat, so I got there at 5:39 p.m. (doors opened at 6:30). Aaaaaand I was the only person there. Like, the only person on the whole block. In fact, since this was in the heart of Hipsterville (everyone, and I mean EVERYONE I passed had one or some of these: a fedora; a beard; tight pants that ended way too high on the leg; a bicycle; argyle; dorky glasses; a guitar; stupid hair; a sullen expression) I could not find the theater because there was no sign or indication of its location. When I eventually found the damn place, I parked myself outside and immediately regretted getting there so early since the building next door was a seafood supply warehouse and, every time the wind shifted, an odor of “rotting clams in the sun” wafted past me. Eventually other Hardwick fans showed up and I was pleased that they were total stereotypes of the gamer/computer nerds: pudgy, dorky people who were somewhat uncomfortable in their skin and therefore stood around poking their fingers at their iPhones/Droids. Even though I would classify myself as an art/animal nerd, I felt like these were “my people”.

I don’t know if everybody does this, but if I like a product that someone is making that they spend their own money on and give away for free (like podcasts) I often send them something. You know, a “thanks for making this, please continue to do so” kind of thing. So I brought a card with some money in it and a print of my pirate tugboat drawing. The show was terrific, and except for the girl sitting next to me who smelled like she had rolled around in dry cat food, it was a great experience. Afterwards, you could go and meet Chris, so a big ole line formed and I waited my turn to say hello and give him my baggie with the stuff in it. Now, I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but I hate being in this situation. I call it the 100% situation. The person you want to meet, the person you admire, he or she has 100% control of the situation. You already know how cool or interesting they are. They need to prove nothing. YOU, on the other hand, have exactly two seconds to not appear boring or crazy or weird. You have zero percent control. And no matter what I do in this moment, I give the impression of being “off”. Always. ALWAYS.* When I got to the front of the line, I just tried to be gracious. I think I gave the impression of being soft in the head, which is better than being a stalker or whatever (“I need a snippet of your hair to finish my doll!!!”). Chris gave me a hug and thanked me for being there, he could not have been sweeter. I actually felt a little odd hugging him because…you know when you watch men on TV, you assume they’re about six feet tall. And then you see them in person and you’re like, whoa, not what I expected. Chris is about 5′ 7″, but he has the proportions of a much taller man, which means he has a small head and a thin frame and itty-bitty hands. He is what my mother would call “fine-boned”. When I hugged him, I was scared I would crush him like a wee robin in my hand. But no one was smothered, he got my package, all was well. Here’s a picture of him all normal-like:

And here’s a picture of him dressed as Princess Leia.

*An example of me meeting important people and failing: At my old company, there were two elevator bays – one that went to all the floors, and one for the executives to go straight to their floor. I, being a peasant, rode on the all-floors elevator. One day, the CEO of all of North America gets on with me. Just him and me, all alone in that tiny enclosed space. I was so nervous I would say something stupid to him (“Ha ha! Your skin has some damage, I see. Is that from teenage acne, or smallpox, perhaps?”) that I turned around and shoved my face into the corner, Blair Witch-style. No joke. I have no idea what he thought I was doing. I must have looked insane. Not good with the first impressions, I am.

I don’t know what you’re doing right now…

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

…but you need to be reading this website.

http://27bslash6.com/

I love this man. He’s a designer with some serious snarky snark. I only wish I had the steel gonads to write the responses he does. Here are my favorites:

http://27bslash6.com/missy.html

http://27bslash6.com/easter.html

http://27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

 

 

Artists who I think are outstanding.

Monday, May 16th, 2011

I’m constantly on the prowl for new and exciting illustrators and artists, mainly because I feel like I am perpetually inundated with crappy stuff, so when I see something that stands out from the crowd of mundacity, I get excited and I feel the need to share it with others. Here are two of them.

El Mac is a street artist, predominantly focused on portraits, who does the most amazing work with spray paint. We are all familiar with the typical ways spray paint is used and we’ve all seen some stellar graffiti work. What makes El Mac different is the way he handles gradations by layering the spray over and over in arcs until it reaches the tone he’s trying to achieve. I’ve never seen anything like it. Also, he often works in conjunction with another artist, I don’t know his name, who does these calligraphic elements all around the El Mac faces. It’s a terrific collaboration.

And his phenomenal tonal work is equally impressive in his fine art. He does these painted portraits with a brush and a limited palette of colors. El Mac makes these lines and swirls and by using different thickness of brush stroke he carves light and dark out of the surface. It reminds me of those sand paintings by Tibetan monks – the patience and the precision. And it looks like he freehands quite a bit, which blows my mind.

And the other artist is Audrey Kawasaki. I can’t believe I haven’t blogged about her before. I am a huge fan. HUGE. I love her work. She does paintings on wood, using both a glazing of oil paints and occasionally colored pencils, often allowing the grain of the wood to show through. Most of her images include a sleepy-looking nymphet with natural elements around her in some way. There’s a great deal of art nouveau influence and traditional Japanese art in there, but it’s a style all her own.

I will never ever ever own any of her work for two reasons: one, every time she has a exhibition, her work is snapped up long before it opens, and two, since it is so popular, it goes for insanely high prices. So I must enjoy Audrey’s work from a distance. Sigh.

Macy’s Flower Show 2011.

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Flower show, people! Very exciting! I don’t know if they had a cohesive theme this year like they have had in years past; it seemed a bit hodge-podge. But I’m not complaining. As always, all kinds of plants with bright colors and textures, oh, it makes me so happy.

The entrance was a bit eh in my opinion, all fake flowers slapped all over the walls. And in the window boxes were plants with cakes in the middle representing the different fairy tales.

I gravitated towards the succulent window as usual, and the wee succulents were delightful. If I lived in a desert climate, I would pour all my money into my garden for sure.

So, whoever was in charge this year was not afraid of the spookier plants, because as you came in and turned into the bag section – blammo! – you were confronted with giant freaky pitcher plants dangling in your face. They were so big and had so much presence when I almost bumped into them I said, “Excuse me,” to them.

Nearby these monster pitcher plants was the aye-aye of the plant world. The were a thick, fleshy, reddish, pointy plant covered with whitish fur. It looked like someone with white back hair got a bad sunburn.

That wasn’t the ickiest part though. It was the petals creeping out of the pods. All I could think about is every horror movie where they show a door, and sloooooowly dirty fingers with jacked-up nails come around the edge of the door, and you know OH DEAR GOD HORRIBLE DEMON A-COMIN’ and then you cover your eyes with your hand (if you’re me).

And then cactus cactus cactus.

All kinds of cactii. I love cactii and succulents so much because I think they look like totally alien creatures, very Dr. Seussian. And there’s such a variety of sizes and shapes! I never cease to be enthralled by them and their wackiness.

Also, orchids. Really stellar ones this year.

And, of course, no flower show would be complete without a picture of a papyrus plant with the little sign written in Papyrus font.

Additional flower show photos: woman exhausted and sleeping next to the jewelry section.

And the panderingest pandery thing ever: the jewelry case totally devoted to the look of former Princess Diana’s ring, now Kate’s ring. Here’s a pic of the ring.

And here’s the case.