Yesterday was my big ole brush with the famous folk. My favorite was the first. Let me start at the beginning. I went to the International Gift Show at the Javitz Center with my mom (nice show, not a great deal of envelope-pushing, I was whelmed). After walking the entire gift show for six hours we went and got some sushi at Monster Sushi (best shumai anywhere) and then got tickets to Deuce. Angela Lansbury is in it and since she’s 81 I figured I’d better see her now, who knows when she’ll be back on Broadway again, if ever. So we go to the theater and (I’m going to scream the rest of this sentence) STEPHEN SONDHEIM WALKED IN, STOOD IN LINE AND BOUGHT TICKETS. LIKE A REGULAR PERSON. STOOD IN LINE. FOR A SHOW STARRING THE WOMAN WHO GOT A TONY PERFORMING IN HIS SHOW. Why the hell was he standing in line for a Broadway show? That’s like Derek Jeter standing in line with the peasants for tickets to a baseball game. I’m pretty proud of this, I behaved myself and only squeezed my mom’s arm until she squeaked in pain. (I probably gave her a nasty bruise, she bruises easily. Sorry Mom.) Then I saw Deuce, which was excellent, and afterwards, since the weather was so nice, I stood outside and waited for Ms. Lansbury. She signed lots of autographs for people and smiled and waved and chatted, truly a class act. Then, because Frost/Nixon was playing across the street (which I saw last week), I walked across and waited for Frank Langella to come out. Apparently he had visitors because we waited and waited and waited. And also waited. But we were rewarded! For out of the stage door came – James Earl Jones! He was the visitor! I love James Earl Jones. He spoke at my college graduation. Super-sweet guy. HUGE. Like tall and wide. Big fella. Then this character actor came out, he was visiting too, I looked up his name on IMDB, his name is Dylan Baker. He played a profoundly creepy pedophile in the movie Happiness and that is how I will remember him forever. He’s married to actress Becky Ann Baker who was in one of my favorite musicals Assassins WRITTEN BY STEPHEN SONDHEIM (see how everything comes full circle? Huh? See? Huh?) And then Frank Langella came out. My God, he’s gorgeous. Really. Like aside from being handsome, he has wrinkle-free skin. And he’s sixty-eight. No wrinkles. Whatever voodoo goat blood he bathes in at night is totally working for him. My goodness. By now it was 11:30 and I had been on my feet all day gift-showing and whatnot, and I went home. So for those of you keeping track, it was:
1. STEPHEN SONDHEIM. (Bruised My Mother.)
2. Angela Lansbury. (Classy British lady.)
3. James Earl Jones (“Luke, this is CNN.”)
4. Dylan Baker (Creepy Pedophile Character Actor.)
5. Frank Langella (Voodoo Goat’s Blood.)
P.S. STEPHEN SONDHEIM.