Gaze in awe at my new bathroom.

I’m going to try the Emperor’s New Clothes technique right here:

Isn’t this a lovely toilet? Isn’t it elegant with sleek lines? Note the attractive light fixtures I picked out.

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And here’s my sink. I especially like the cabinetry under the sink to hold nice “guest” soaps.

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And here’s the tub. Isn’t the tile I chose just smashing?

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Oh, I can’t keep this facade up anymore. My bathroom looks like it was bombed with Skud missiles. But eventually, it will be beautiful. Eventually. Like, before I’m forty. Maybe.

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