A Taste of White Plains.

Today I finished the tasks I had set for myself by 2:00, so I headed into White Plains for A Taste of White Plains: Food and Antique Car Show. It was delightful, a real home-town kind of event. They had gigantic inflatable castles and slides for the kiddies and live music. I got to try some Indian food from the Indian place in the neighborhood that I was unfamiliar with (channa saag, how I love thee) and see a variety of nifty ancient vehicles. They were all lined up in the street, and as I was sauntering by I noticed a particular one. It was a navy blue 1937 Chevy with the phrase “Meet Mr. Floatie!” on it. Underneath that was a character I can only describe as a jocular turd with a yellow sailor’s hat on. My incredulity drove me to investigate. I kept thinking, “Oh, this is just a clever marketing ploy to draw me in.” Nope. Mr. Floatie is indeed a turd. And the Floatie-mobile is from my hometown of Rye, NY. I’m so proud. However ooky you find the whole thing, it is for a good cause: to clean up a bit of the harbor that has trash and raw sewage running into it and ruining the ecology. A nice lady handed me a square of toilet paper with the web address and the phrase “Because Fecal Matters” on it. Dear God, enough with the poop references, guys. But wait, it gets worse. I’m going to copy and paste the most horrifying part from an article I found.

According to Tartaglione, Mr. Floatie, a “a seven foot turd that will soon be walking up and down on Purchase Street greeting residents handing out Hershey bars and business cards, bringing attention to all the issues on Hen Island that have been ignored for years.”

I am so glad I don’t live in Rye anymore. I could not deal with a giant mascot excrement wandering around Main Street handing out food that vaguely resembles excrement. And while I didn’t bring my camera, thx to the Nternet, I found a picture of the Floatie-mobile.


Please help clean up the harbor in Rye, only so they stop with Mr. Floatie. Let us give them so much money that the Mr. Floatie-mobile can have the decals taken off and it can return to being a nice vintage vee-hickle. Please. Make the bad men stop.


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