I work in advertising and I watch an inordinate amount of TV, so even though I have TiVo, I still end up watching many commercials. I would like to comment on two of them that have recently caught my eye.

1. Subway Sandwiches, please stop referring to your subs as “yum rockets”. That’s not hip lingo, it’s vaguely pornographic and nauseating and it makes the viewer want to eat at Quizno’s. Thank you.

2. Pantene, a six-step routine to make your hair voluminous is not “easy”. It takes like, an hour for me to do all the things Maria Menounos recommends. Would you like to hear my hair styling tips? I wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner, towel-dry… that’s it. There’s some brushing in there too, but that takes maybe fifteen seconds. No root-spritzing, no curlers, no blow-drying in sections. Maria, call me, I’ll tell you all about the real meaning of easy. Wait, that didn’t come out right.

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