All you need to know about me you can learn from my “flair” wall on Facebook.

Y’all familiar with T.G.I. Friday’s and the wearing of the flair on the suspenders? If not, go rent the movie Office Space right now. Are you back? Good. Okay, Facebook has an app with a gazillion and one little flair pins you can put on your page and I am addicted right now. Here’s mine:


I recommend everyone go out and make one right now, because they are a hoot.


1. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. I like them very much. However, my mother, who was brought up on fine Belgian chocolates, was horrified the time I made her eat one. “The chocolate is SALTY!” she said, appalled.

2. A cutie-patootie wild bunny shaking his little paws off before he goes through his little bunny face-washing routine. It looks like he’s clapping. Yay bunny!

3. “Step aside and let the man go through.” Soul Coughing lyrics. The band has dissolved, much to my dismay, but I listened to them a ton in college. Aside from being great, they made me feel edgy and kind of hip. Which anyone who knows me knows I am NOT.

4. Patton Oswalt’s cover to his album Werewolves and Lollipops. He’s my most favorite comedian in the whole wide world. I darest not quote my most favoritest bits for you because they are filthy, but trust me, he’s terrif.

5. Best Week Ever. A show on VH1. I think it might be cancelled (more dismay), but maybe not. The website is still alive and kickin’.

6. Scrubs. 1/2 hour sitcom. Eight seasons. Now over. I still watch the reruns religiously.

7. A hamster attempting to shove an entire baby carrot in his mouth. And failing. But not at being cute!

8. Sweeney Todd. I freakin’ love this musical. It’s not really a musical, since they sing almost the whole time, making it more of an opera. See the Broadway taping for the real Broadway version, or see the Johnny Depp version for an excellent movie interpretation.

9. Epic Fail. A website of FAIL. Experience the FAIL:

10. A disgruntled cat wearing a wig made from a grapefruit or a pomelo. I don’t really feel I have to explain this one.

11. I seem to have decided 11 is not a number I feel like using. Instead of rebuilding this whole chart again, we’re going to pretend that this never happened.

12. House. My favorite primetime show right now. It’s the only show I actively look forward to. Yes, yes, I know the medical stuff is a big load of malarky, but the dialogue is so clever, how can I resist?

13. I Can Haz Cheezburger? A website I have mentioned on many an occasion. Cats. With misspelled anthropomorphic quotes under them.

14. Wicked. Another great Broadway show. I got teary-eyed and goosebumps during that show, and I am cold and dead inside, so that takes work. The sets were good, the songs were good, the acting was good, the costumes were good, everything kicked butt.

15. Pepe the King Prawn. He’s my favorite Muppet, which is unusual, since he was created long after the glory days of Jim Henson and Frank Oz, and I tend to be an old-school Muppet fan. But when I saw Muppets from Space, I was sold. He makes that movie.

16. An amigurumi dinosaur. I heart crocheted little figures.

17. Manhattan at night with a view of the Empire State Building. I love New York and I work right next to the Empire State Building, so it seemed like a great choice.

18. Firefly. Oh, I’m still bitter about this. A REALLY FREAKIN’ EXCELLENT TV SHOW that was CANCELLED AFTER ONE SEASON because PEOPLE SUCK. Bitter bitter bitter.

19. “I speak whale!” A quote from Finding Nemo. This is my favorite Pixar film, and when Dori (this character, voiced by Ellen Degeneres) says this, the part where I laughed so hard I started wheezing came shortly after (it’s when she attempts to speak whale).

20. Ugly Dolls. The first real indie softie/plushies to hit the market recently and take off like wildfire. You can find them at the Ricky’s makeup store, as well as a ton of other places. My favorite is Icebat.

21. “Just bead it.” I like beads. I like the Cooper font. I like Michael Jackson’s music. It all came together.

22. Anthropomorphized onigiri. Onigiri are Japanese rice balls, covered with seaweed and often containing delightful treats, like spicy cod roe or pickled plums. They are deee-licious.

23. Dirty Jobs. I love this show. I love Mike Rowe. I especially love that Smell-O-Vision has never been installed on my television, because New York streets covered with garbage in the summer are bad enough, I don’t think I could handle the funky stankiness Mike Rowe brings to us. And sometimes Mike Rowe takes off his shirt, and then we all win!

24. The cover of The Darkness album. I… really don’t know how to describe this band, or how much I adore their music, so I’ll just link to their mildly famous video:

25. Delicatessen. My favorite foreign film. It’s by the same guys who did Amelie. It’s weird and dark, but exquisitely executed. A great many people like their second film The City of Lost Children better, but I like this one bestest.

26. Avenue Q. I think this is a super-swell musical. The puppeteering is excellent, and the tender moments are actually tender. And all the songs are phenomenal.

27. A neat-o pattern with lots of color and owls. Very 1960s. If I could find it in a fabric pattern, I would totally cover my computer chair with it.

28. “I’d verb her noun.” Oh dear. I say this kind of thing all the time. I was once in the office and the accountant came up to me and said, “We need to overlay these purchase orders,” and I said, “I’d like to overlay your purchase orders! Whoo hoo baby!” It was an awkward moment.

29. Best Week Ever. I think they have a great logo, so I put on my board twice in two iterations.

30. Oooh, a bunny stealing a cookie. Naughty bunny! But very cute.

31. The famous “I heart NY” logo, but with pigeons pooping on it. I love the logo and I love pigeons. It’s like two great tastes that taste great together! But with bird poop.

32. THE SCARIEST CAPPUCCINO ART EVER. I still get chills when I look at that foam demon.

33. Opus the Penguin from Bloom County. He has captured the essence of pathos for me. Also, I share all his physical attributes, so I feel a tenderness towards him.

34. Awww, cute little bebbeh ducky. It’s fuzzy and it quacks!

35. Stains the Dog from The Soup. The Soup is a show in the E! network which recaps the best in crappy TV for the week so you don’t have to watch it yourself (thank you, The Soup). I will link to the video of Stains:

36. House again. I love that show. Can’t get enough. Clearly, since I have two buttons.

37. HypnoToad. This a character from Futurama. He’s a toad that has the powers of mind control, and for some reason every time he’s on screen I crack up. See for yourself:

38. “Praise Jebus!” The fact that Homer Simpson can’t or won’t say Jesus amuses me no end.

39. Mika’s album cover. Mika is a really swell singer, a combination of Freddy Mercury, Prince, Michael Jackson and a few others. He’s worth checking out.

40. Chocolate chip cookie. Enough said.

41. Assassins. Maybe my favorite Broadway show. It came out originally during the reign of Bush the Elder and since it’s about people who tried (and the four who succeeded) in assassinating American presidents, Bush, Sr. had it shut down after only 12 performances. If he had seen it, he would have realized that the show’s message is, “If you kill a president, nothing really changes. You don’t become a hero. The country goes on as it was.” Luckily, the show was brought back recently and I got to see it three times. So worth it.

42. Another Soul Coughing pin. Great logo.

43. XKCD. It’s a web comic. Very clever, very science-oriented. This particular comic referenced in this pin is a chart explaining that the closer you get to a cat, the dumber the stuff that comes out of your mouth. Ergo, standing in front of a cat saying, “You’re a kitty!”

44. “Peanut Butter Jelly Time!” Internet meme. Family Guy did a thing on it.

45. “I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness.” I think that’s fairly self-explanatory as well.

46. Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. If you haven’t seen it, go see it now. NOW.

47. Dave Matthews Band. Oh, I love that stupid band. I know they’re a college band for stoners or whatever, but they’re great, and their new album is great.

48. Photobombing Squirrel.

49. Little Miyazaki figures. I know I said I’m not talking to Miyazaki anymore, ever since the Ponyo incident, but the man does cute little Asian characters like nobody else, so I have included him. But I’m still not talking to him.

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