Christmukkah is upon us.

I haven’t had time to run up to Saks to see their window display, but one of the benefits to working across the street from Macy’s is that I can see the Macy’s windows all the time. Every night this week that I worked late, it helped to walk out of my building and see this:


And look! Finally I got a shot where you can see the owl’s eyes with the green lights! Only took me two years. See those trees there? They have what I call “the dripping lights”. Last year I tried to make an animated gif of how it looked.

This year, I tried again.


It is an equally underwhelming gif. But trust me, in person it is lovely and breathtaking and it makes working in Herald Square during Christmas totally bearable.

So, Macy’s window displays. They are traumatic. They have some sort of storyline about working in Santa’s toy factory, and there are many moving figures and pretty holiday music and all that good stuff. It’s just… the workers in the factory are creepy as all get-out. They are elves and robots. The least upsetting elves look like Joan Rivers:


And the most upsetting elves look like possessed demons with no irises in their eyes. This one looks like she’s so deep in Satan’s clutches she’s going to start throwing up bees.


But for me the worst things were the robots. They’re EVIL, and not just regular evil, no no, they’re like psychotic “Heath Ledger as the Joker” evil. They are the makers of nightmares.


Make him stop looking at me, Mommy! I christen these windows as ho-ho-horrifying.

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