Happy 2010.

Hey hey, Happy New Year! It’s been ever so exciting here at the ranch. I celebrated the new year by… working. Every day. For a minimum of 12 hours a day. It was kinda sucky. I did, however, work from home on New Year’s Eve, so Cricket and I took a break at 11:15 and wandered down into the center of White Plains to see the fireworks. I love fireworks. I will travel many, many miles for good fireworks and/or good Christmas lights. So we all counted down and then the fireworks started off the top of the mall. They were low-exploding fireworks, which was fine, so they had bunches of not-terribly-large ones go off in groups. They were like dense shrubbery, which was a nice change from the standard BOOOM! (pause) BOOOM! (pause) style we are all accustomed to. Here’s the problem: the first few were beautiful (“ooooh, ahhhhh”) but the copious amounts of smoke didn’t clear, so within thirty seconds we couldn’t see any fireworks, just occasionally colored and lit-up smoke. It looked like a Civil War reenactment on top of the Macy’s. Sorta disappointing. I’m hoping they resolve that by next year.

Okay, so first I’d like to share some of my newest spam comments. They’ve gotten very complimentary. I know they’re just form letters sent to everyone in the known universe, but every time I read one, I always think, “Why, thank you. Aren’t you a nice spambot. Knowing my name and everything.”


I also got this very thoughtful porn one, which caused me to crack up.


I feel like I’m reading a Trader Joe’s catalog. I have found that porn is very much “as described.” If they say the video is of two guys, three girls and a sheep, changes are that is exactly what you are going to get. I don’t know if we need this organic, free-range, quality-control website. Also, I don’t know if the panda was consulted on this. “Hey, your face will be a symbol for porn, but only good porn, nothing trashy. Everyone will associate your face with porn. Panda, porn. Porn, panda. How do you feel about that?” And I just realized something. Aren’t pandas dying out because they don’t like to breed? Oh, irony, I could cut you with a spoon. Because I have ten thousand of you, and all I need is a knife.

And my final spam comment amuses me because I love that it’s written by a grammar nazi.


I love this new trend. I want all my spam to be like this. “If the name ends in an ‘s’, the apostrophe goes on the outside and no additional ‘s’ is needed. Levitra levitra levitra.”

By the way, this particular comment is wrong. I was taught a long time ago that in sentences like, “Go,” or “Look,” the word “you” at the beginning is implied, making it a full sentence, with both a noun and a verb.

Moving on from spam to holiday gift-giving, I’ve been stalking this woman on Etsy whose username is Geninne. I love her watercolors, so for Hanukkah slash Christmas I purchased three of her pieces, one small poster and two prints. I love them so very much.


Aren’t they happy and wonderful? I’m going to get them framed and hang them somewhere in my apartment. I’ll take pictures when I do that so you can experience the delight along with me.

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