I like television!

1. I was watching Hoarders the other night, as I often do, and there was this woman on who I think upset me as much as the poop closet lady, but for totally different reasons. At the beginning of each episode, they often show family members explaining how the hoarding started. Often it’s that someone close to them died or they had an illness and it all got away from them, etc. This one was…different. The hoarder’s name was Lisa, and her daughter Ana told us that Lisa was an artist and was social, but her husband abused her and forced her to give up her friends. Soon he insisted that she not make any art either. Lisa was left with no way to express herself, and her husband kept calling her a slob, so eventually she became one. Here’s where it gets not okay. Lisa channeled her creative energy into cooking, because that was the only outlet allowed by her husband, but she also expressed her rage through that. Here’s the icky part, kids: “My mom would lie about the ingredients in things, like saying something was apple pie, but it would be filled with raw chicken hearts…”


“One day I opened the fridge to get some butter, and when I opened the butter container there was a dead dried-out squirrel, with his teeth all bared, looking at me. After that I no longer ate at at home.”


There was also something about eating bugs in there, but I didn’t quite catch it. I assume it would have made me go AAAAAAHHHHHHH as well. I think this also the only episode I can think of where they recommended that Lisa go into a home. She was too damaged to ever recover, which is unfortunate. She seemed like before the decades of belittlement and abuse she was a real cool lady.

2. My neighbor K. recommended I start watching True Blood, and holy batpoop where has this been all my life? It’s sweaty Southern trash with smokin’ hot people workin’ out their problems, and oh, did I mention there’s vampires? Who are also hot and sweaty and Southern? It’s like the best soft core porn that ever was and ever will be. It’s cheesy and it ain’t apologizin’. LOVE IT. Except in the opening credits where the dead fox decomposes filmed with sped-up film, with the all maggots and whatnot. Other than that, great. Also (bonus), “Milton”/”The Boss from NewsRadio” is in season one and he’s a vampire who hooks up with another dude while “Eternal Flame” by the Bangles plays in the background. MAGIC, I tell you.


Leave a Reply