Important things I have learned recently.

1. The song “Smooth Criminal” by Michael Jackson, we’re all familiar with it, right? You know there’s a part of the song where he sings, “Annie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?” Michael Jackson was taking a CPR class and the doll used for that class is called Resusci Annie and you are supposed to say, “Annie, are you okay?” before you pound on her chest and break all her ribs. Michael liked that and put it in his song. This is true.

2. In France, doughnut holes are called Nun’s Farts. Story goes that a nun had a spoonful of dough and she farted. The other nuns laughed so hard at her that she accidentally dropped the dough into frying oil and poof! doughnut holes were made. I think this story is slightly less true.

3. When I found out the Golden Retrievers that were in Newtown for people to pet were going to Boston, I got all teary-eyed. The tears came to a halt when I found out they are referred to as “Comfort Dogs”.


Okay. Anyone read up on World War II? Ummm, does anyone immediately think of the Japanese and Korean women forced in to prostitution for the Japanese soldiers? You know they were called “Comfort Women“, right? Did anyone other than me think, “How could they do that to those dogs???” when it occurred to me that they just being petted by sad people and not degraded and made to sell their bodies? Still, maybe they could change the name to Dogs of Amelioration or something.

4. I don’t care much for Twitter. I find it confusing with all the retweets and the shorthand, but whenever I have an opportunity, I check up on “Florida Man”. Florida has a really lax policy on sharing police blotters and therefore all the crazy-pants things that occur in Florida the newspapers can write articles about. Here is a sample of a few of my favorites:

Florida Man Assaulted Boss With Chicken Tenders After Being Fired From Burger King

Florida Man Chugs Half-Pint Of Rum Before Jumping Into Storm Drain In Search Of Woman’s Keys, Nearly Drowns

Florida Man Arrested For Running Onto Field During Powder Puff Football Game, Spraying Silly String In Coach’s Face

Florida Man Used Dog Food To Steal $1,800 Worth Of Razors From Walmart

Police Suspect Florida Man Is Walking Awkwardly; Find Needles Between His Butt Cheeks, Pills In His Anus

Florida Man Tries To Kill Squirrel With Bullet Taped To BB Gun, Ends Up Hospitalized With Shrapnel Wounds

Addendum on 5/17: Did you know how stoats kill rabbits? They do a crazy dance that hypnotizes the rabbit. I adore rabbits, but I am not even slightly bothered by this. If you are dumb enough to be hypnotized by a jumping weasel, you deserve to be dinner. I found some video:

One Response to “Important things I have learned recently.”

  1. snorth says:

    So basically, rabbits are hypnotized by the equivalent of the cat crazies? The cat crazies get me every time, too.

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