I saw Prometheus when it was in theaters and I had all the wrong reactions to it. Mainly, I laughed a lot. It is not supposed to be funny. Now that the newest installment in the Alien movies is coming out and I thought it best to rewatch Prometheus in case there are references to it. Allow me to also mention that Snorth crocheted me a squid baby like the one in Prometheus to wear in a baby bjorn to the movie theater. That’s how you know you’ve found your soul-mate. Anyway, I live-blogged my Prometheus viewing to Snorth and here are my notes. Follow along if you’d like.
– I have strong pervasive feelings for Michael Fassbender. I sure do like my Aryan German robots.
– When the two idiots, the redheaded geologist with the mohawk and Sweatshirt Douche are in the tunnel and the vagina-penis-snake-monster attacks them and the one idiot falls in the magic mud with a “splut” noise I started laughing so hard I had to rewind it and watch it again.
– Did I mention I’m obsessed with Fassbender? It’s not ebbing. Oh no, he just found SQUID BABY on the sonogram!!
– Dragon Tattoo whacked Scottish Game of Thrones Breastfeeding Too Long Lady in the face with a metal thing and she’s off and running!
– The Squid Baby scene is still hysterically funny, btw. I almost piddled myself.
– Oh my God I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. When the Not Especially Incredible Hulk got run over by the tanker truck, hoo, I may never recover.
– This movie is TERRIBLE. It might be my favorite comedy of all time, though.
– I really like Idris Elba. He’s an extremely likeable man.
– Oh, now it’s all boring. Old Man Priscilla Queen of the Desert is tromping around and they’re screwing around with The Engineer on life support.
– I don’t give a crap who you are, you do not get to rip the head of my robot boyfriend.
– Why does this movie even exist? It’s like a very expensive two hour long NIN video from 1997. I’m questioning everything now.
– Oh, all of you die already. Whatever, Dragon Tattoo survived. Yay, hooray. Does she and Fassbender Head go on wacky adventures together?
– The Engineer and Chtulu are fighting it out. I do not care who wins.
– I am attracted to dismembered chatty robot head. I have no standards.
– Make his dumb body carry his dumb head back to the ship! Girl, you gave yourself a c-section with a toaster oven! Take a spa day, Jesus!
– Oh hai bebbeh xenomorph! Aaaaaaaaaand we’re done.
Addendum: Me rockin’ the squid baby at the movie this weekend.
