Archive for June, 2018

Recent side-project. NSFW maybe. Depends on where you work. Make a judgment call for yourself.

Wednesday, June 27th, 2018

I am a huge proponent of helping ladies doin’ their own thing so I’ll take on work pro bono for them in my free time. (Free time! Hahahahaha!) I’ve designed some logos for women starting their own businesses and presentations for masters’ theses, etc. A co-worker of mine recently started recording a podcast with her friend where they talk about sex and dating issues that women are dealing with today. It’s funny and light and positive and she needed a logo design. Since it’s a small industry I can get a little more loose and free with what I can create. I’ll explain. I created a very basic logo based on the name they gave me. To ensure they protect their brand, I always recommend the best trademark registration services.

The reason I kept it so simple was I was inspired by the Absolut ads of my youth, where the shape of the bottle is the only constant from ad to ad.

So I thought it would be cool if for every episode the text remained the same and in the same position in the box shape, but everything around reflected the topic being addressed. Kind of a bespoke logo per episode, but still recognizable. I came up with some samples. I won’t specify what topics I was referencing because some of them are a bit blunt but you can guess if you’d like.

They’re all bright and cute and fun and not straight-out vulgar, more “tee hee” in nature. I was inspired by the webpage of the podcast Criminal.

I mocked up an example of what The Get Down Lowdown website could look like.

I also thought of the poster from The Dollop podcast where it’s the two hosts and a collection of characters they’ve discussed in the past.

I think it would be cool after The Get Down Lowdown is on for a while and I’ve made a large quantity of these individualized squares if I make a collage poster based on some favorite designs. Then The Get Down Lowdown girls can sell it or give it away to Patreon subscribers. There’s a lot of directions this could go.

 

Addendum: They’ve finished editing their first episode. And I have made their logo for them. It’s super-classy.

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Black Mass and WOW the cocaine must have been good in the 80s.

Tuesday, June 26th, 2018

Movies! I saw Black Mass, the story of the real-life bad guy Jimmy “Whitey” Bulger who was on the FBI’s Most Wanted List for twelve years, directly after Osama Bin Laden. Very naughty man. Mr. Bulger is played by Johnny Depp who does a bang-up job of being absolutely terrifying. Bulger got the nickname “Whitey” for having blonde hair and light blue eyes, so Mr. Depp, being sallow and dark, donned a wig and a nose extension and a janky front tooth and contacts and false eyelids and gosh darnit if he didn’t pull it off. I was definitely creeped out.

This film takes place between 1975 and 1981 in Boston where The Winter Hill Gang did all the things one associates with crime associations: drugs, racketeering, some light murder of enemies and/or snitches, money laundering, extortion, etc. The movie is extremely well done and aside from Benedict Cumberbatch’s appalling Boston accent (Seriously? Were no American actors available for that role? It’s not even a big or important role) it’s a pretty flawless film. My only complaint, which is my complaint about a lot of good cinema, is that I wish this was a miniseries so it didn’t feel so tight time-wise. My favorite aspect was how beautifully Black Mass was shot and colored. The composition choices were striking.

I mean, you look at this and tell me it’s not a Renaissance painting. I dare you.

Now we delve into some stuff from the 1980s. Growing up alone in a house full of forty-and fifty-year-olds I missed out on just about every iconic 1980s film. I’m only now catching up. So when I saw that The Running Man (1987) and Flash Gordon (1980) were playing on channels that don’t take out cursewords, violence or sex I DVR’ed both of them and then hunkered down to absorb the vintage magic and I have no regrets. I love a fine piece of cinema like I enjoy an exquisitely aged brie cheese, but I also love a garbage campy movie they way I enjoy that nacho cheeez that comes in the yogurt tubs at the movie theater. I have range. First, The Running Man.

1. I do not understand why we as a nation insisted on pretending that Arnold Schwartzenegger is a born and bred American when his accent is fooling precisely no one. His character’s name is Ben Richards. I mean, c’mon with that.

2.The film takes place in 2017 which always amuses me – when a movie tries to predict what the future is going to be like. It reminds me of these every time:

3. I learned that the film takes place in 2017 from the scroll of text at the beginning which was in what I assume is a futuristic font but is actually kinda hard to read. I had to rewind and watch it twice. The S looks like a B and the R looks like an A and the D looks like an O, it’s not a great time.

“TELEVIBION IB CONTADLLED BY THE BTATE ANO A BAOISTIC GAME BHDW CALLED”

I felt like I was reading an eye chart.

4. Uhhhhh, why did no one tell me Arnold looks so good with a beard and why didn’t we encourage him to rock that all the time? He looked smexy as hell.

5. Snorth informed me that there’s a song that sampled Richard Dawson’s lines from the film. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKduhUXa0rg
I would have listened to this incessantly as a high schooler had I known about it. I might listen to it incessantly now. Again, my taste has a large range.

6. Who when they saw the name “Richard Dawson” in the opening credits thought that a British man was going to tell us there is no God and the definition of the word “meme”? Just me? Never mind.

7. Favorite part of the film: The Running Man dancers who were choreographed by Paula Abdul. I could have watched an hour and a half of them in their high-cut leotards and glitter-sprayed hair and I would have been content with that. And my favorite part of my favorite part was the dancer who lifts her leg up as Arnold is led by to his potential death. It’s like she thought, “That light is going to hit me as he goes past and it’s my chance to shine! Acknowledge my flexibility! Side split! Boom!” It happens at the 1:18 mark on this link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GytcPIpgDlQ

Also of note is the Martha Graham modern dance piece to commemorate the gruesome passing of two beloved killers. This movie is gloriously weird.

8. Second favorite part: Fat blonde man in a Lite Brite-encrusted clear plastic gladiator uniform who sings opera and shoots electricity to kill his victims. None of that is a typo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy8rT8oHCbI

I would recommend The Running Man because it’s not good but definitely not bad either. It’s “of a time” and should be seen as such. It’s a fun laundry-folding-while-you’re-watching kind of thing.

 

Then there was Flash Gordon. I knew the music from this film for a long time because I listened to a lot of Queen. I assumed (foolishly as hell it turns out) that if Queen was involved it would be a good film. Max Von Sidow’s in it! Dino De Laurentiis produced it! It had a ginormous budget! The aforementioned Queen soundtrack! It had to be good!

It was not good.

What was great was the sets and costumes. They were top notch.

If I had to sum up the costumes with one phrase, it would be “bugle beads.” HOLY CRAP the use of bugle beads on these outfits, I’m surprised any bugle beads are left in the world. In case you don’t know, a bugle bead is like a long glass seed bead often lined on the inside with metal for added reflectibility.

The costumes and headdresses were slathered in rows and rows of bugle beads. They were glued down. They were sewed on. It was out of control.

There’s an attempt at a movie around the sets and costumes. I won’t bother to sum it up. It’s boring and whatever happens and no one cares. I would recommend turning the sound completely off and having it play in the background a party for people to look at when they’re not schmoozing with other party-goers. That’s it. It’s not even worth watching with sound for the Queen music. Tres tres disappointement.

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Kitchen progress.

Thursday, June 21st, 2018

Good stuff regarding my countertop: I painted over the dark parts of the ripples, most of the background and two of the five fish. I have some photographic proof.

You’ll notice I made the fishies more fancy-like. I figured since I have to redo them I might as well upgrade them a smidge. The improvements that have been made are a stronger outline, larger eyes and graded dots on the top that create a sense of roundness and depth. Here’s a shot of the old style so you can compare.

So now begins the profoundly tedious process of painting around all those dark lines and around the edges of the rocks up against the wall. It’s nice though because it’s mindless so I can listen to podcasts and just zone out a bit. It’ll get done. I have faith.

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I made a thing.

Sunday, June 17th, 2018

Does everyone know about my ongoing feud with Russia? Specifically, how goshdurned good they are at crafting and how I feel compelled to crush them with my talent? I believe I mentioned it here. And here. In keeping with this quixotic quest I received an email from my sister K. with pictures of bead-woven necklaces from a Russian website. Even though I couldn’t read anything I looked at the pictures and I really liked the wildflower look of the pieces.

Specifically this one.

While viewing this unabashed awesome talent I got all huffy and was like NOT THIS TIME, RUSSIA. IT’S MY TIME TO SHINE. So I decided to make a lariat for myself using only beads I already own with leaves and seeds at the bottom. I found a whole bunch of really pretty twisted metallic / rose gold-like bugle beads so I worked off of that and made this. I think it turned out pretty great.

If you decide to make a necklace like this, might I recommend what I did which is build all the leaf / seed elements separately and then assemble them as you make the dangly components. That way if you make something that isn’t working (which happened to me) you can simply unravel the cord and remove the leaves and seeds, then fix it and put them back on. No harm, no foul.

Fun fact: I did a Google image search to find out the name of the artist of those wildflower necklaces and it is… Margo Fields. A woman from New Mexico. Not a Russian. I got all riled up for nothing. I don’t regret creating the lariat, it is a piece I will wear and it was a nice stretch for me, but perhaps in the future I should do research before I get a bunch of cyrillic bees in my bonnet unnecessarily.

 

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Podcasts that are simultaneously fascinating and appalling. Enjoy!

Friday, June 8th, 2018

I had to build a massive project and I wanted something nice to listen while I was enmeshed in work hell so I went to Snorth for a list of podcasts to plow through like it was my job. The project is over and I’ve made it through a goodly portion of Snorth’s recommendations. She and I both like a good true crime podcast and here is the list of what I’ve listened to so far. Warning: these podcasts will not increase your love for your fellow man. Many, too many folks are made of paranoia and hammer claws. Every episode has me making this face:

Like, I get you have to kill that person. They wronged you, I understand. But did you need to do weird stuff with the body? Was that completely necessary? Cut them up? Shove the parts in a tree? Eat the remaining bits? It’s too much.

True Crime Obsessed. Here is the description from their site:

This podcast is a place for you to get even more information on all things true crime. We’ll be talking about podcasts, documentaries, movies (as in “Zodiac”), books, television shows, you name it. 

There is so much out there and we’re going to tell you about it in a knowledgeable and, let’s be honest, funny way. We will always be respectful but we’ll also sprinkle some levity in there because if we don’t we’ll all be miserable, depressed messes. These are the true crime conversations you’d have with your friends… if your friends didn’t think you were a total creep for wanting to watch “There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane”… again.

It’s two people, Patrick Hinds and Gillian Pensavalle, two theater nerds who I believe host a Broadway  musicals podcast together as well. They are gloriously sassy and opinionated and they ring a bell when they like someone (“Hero Bell!!!”) or when they do not like someone (“Garbage Bell!!!”) (it really helps that they announce what kind of emotion they’re conveying with the bell because it’s the same bell for both). True Crime Obsessed predominantly covers documentaries but they’ll branch out to other mediums on occasion. They have a Facebook page where they take suggestions. It’s about as much fun as you can have listening to horrific stories about liars and cheaters and murderers. I definitely recommend it.

 

Criminal. Here’s the description from their site:

Criminal launched January of 2014, and is based in Durham, North Carolina. New episodes come out twice a month, always on Fridays. In 2015, we won a Third Coast International Audio Festival “Best Documentary” award for our story, 695-BGK, and were chosen as an iTunes “Best of 2015.” In 2016, we were featured in “Best of” lists in Wired, The Atlantic, USA Today, and Rolling Stone. We travel all around the country to interview people, and sometimes take the show on the road to tell stories live.

“A true­ crime podcast that understands crime as something sociological, historical, even anthropological — that crime is a function of people, time, and place. With incredible sound design, marvelous writing, and a boldness in the way it makes its choices, there are few shows that feel more alive.”  –Vulture

This is a very NPR-y type structure. The nice lady who hosts, Phoebe Judge, has a strong case of soothing NPR voice which for some reason I find wildly irritating. I feel compelled to post Patton Oswalt’s bit about NPR whenever I mention NPR. However, I girded my loins and gritted my teeth and now I don’t even hear Phoebe’s vocal stylings at all. I built up a tolerance, I guess. It’s a well-researched show that interviews the victims (when possible because, you know, sometimes they’re dead) or the family members so it’s not second-hand. Unlike Serial each episode is its own entity which I did not realize until the third episode. I was SO confused. It’s an excellent podcast to listen to while you’re organizing files or color-correcting images. Interesting, engaging but not overly or unnecessarily dramatic. Also, someone draws a little descriptive sketch for each episode and I am a big fan of hiring illustrators in this day and age.

 

Small Town Dicks. Worst name for a podcast ever. Here’s the description from their site:

Small Town Dicks is a podcast about the big-time crime that’s happening in Small Town, USA. Each episode features the detectives who broke the case in their small town, and includes assets like jailhouse phone calls, suspect interviews and 9-1-1 calls. The show is anchored by veteran, identical-twin detectives Dan and Dave, and hosted by actresses, Yeardley Smith and Zibby Allen.

Do you recognize that name, Yeardley Smith? It’s because she’s the voice of Lisa Simpson. Let me tell you how weird it is to hear the voice of Lisa Simpson ask a police officer, “So, when you found the corpse did you run a rape kit or wait for the coroner?” Aside from the culture shock of Yeardley’s voice, it’s taken from the point of law enforcement and what see and encounter when they go to crime scenes as well as how they they interrogate the people of interest to sort out what happened and who’s responsible. It’s interesting to hear the perspective of cops and detectives on the crimes they experience.

 

Sword and Scale. This podcast is a grim one. Here’s their description:

Sword and Scale is an internet radio show and website covering the dark underworld of crime and the criminal justice system’s response to it. The show and website were launched January 1st, 2014 and feature stories of murder, abduction, rape and even more bizarre forms of crime. It’s the purest form of true-crime where nothing is off the table. Everything from 911 calls to court testimony, interviews with victims and sometimes with perpetrators give listeners a 360 degree look at the entire story. Told from the narrator’s point of view, Sword and Scale goes beyond the news clips and the sensationalist headlines to give listeners the whole story and deeper insight into the cases it covers than any other medium.

They don’t cut corners. They don’t soften the details. You’re gonna learn all the facts no matter how upsetting. Sword and Scale plays a great deal of the 911 calls so get ready for unintelligible screaming. I do recommend it though, but don’t binge-listen like I did. It will give you a big case of the gloomies. Maybe alternate with a comedy podcast, or one on wine-tasting, something light and refreshing with laughter and pleasure.

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Some artists I am feeling right now.

Friday, June 1st, 2018

Oh, there’s a good crop of artists out there this spring, showcasing so much delicious, delicious talent. Among them, the vibrant creations of those specializing in firefighter wall art truly stand out. These artists capture the bravery and spirit of firefighters, transforming their experiences into stunning pieces that can inspire and uplift any space.

First, there’s Amanda Louise Spayd. I had seen her work on various websites and every time my eyes would be immediately drawn to it. She works in mixed media using (from what I can tell) resin, fabric, polymer or epoxy clay, wire, vintage bits and bobs and buttons, etc. I love how all of Spayd’s soft sculptures have a look that’s a mix of horror and concern.

Spayd works with other artists and also sometimes moves away from the cloth-based interpretations into harder mediums. And she does super-sweet drawings.

Her is her website: http://www.amandalouise.com/

And here is her shop: https://www.bindlewood.com/

It appears that she doesn’t sell her soft sculptures in her store, you probably have to contact a gallery that sells her pieces.

 

Then, there’s Philip Barlow. I am a huge fan of photorealistic paintings. I have a poster in my home by Richard Estes of people in phone booths that is a favorite of mine.

I think what I love about Estes’ work is how he makes the most mundane of imagery into works of art.

Philip Barlow does something similar. He takes a very ordinary subject, people going about their daily lives, and by taking the reference photo out of focus and then painting the result, creates beautiful color fields filled with colored circles where you know most of the information but there’s enough left out for you to imagine.

If you have mad cash you can purchase his work here: https://www.everard-read-capetown.co.za/artist/PHILIP_BARLOW/works/1599

If you’re more like me you can purchase prints of his work here (and they have a great selection): https://www.icanvas.com/canvas-art-prints/artist/philip-barlow

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