Germany, Part 3.

Verden! It’s pronounced “Fairden” and it is where Neenernator went to high school. She went there to meet up and chat with her old high school English teacher, so Neenernator’s mom took me around to see the sights of this small country town while Neenernator was meetin’ and chattin’.

verden4

We walked around in the center of town where this photo was taken as well as some of the side streets that had old buildings with no right angles. Saggy, charming buildings.

verden5

There was a sculpture in town of some horses and I guess there’s a guerilla knitting group in town because there was socks for the hoofies!

verden3

They had a big ole church and anyone who knows me knows I love me some big ole church, so we went there.

verden2

It was really interesting on the inside. The whole interior was painted but instead of being polychrome and covered with patterns it was all white with a rich burnt orange ceiling. Nothing else. It gave a strong sense of height and freshness to the place. I think they had performed a nativity play the night before because when we came in they were breaking it down.

verden-dom2 verden-dom3 verden-dom7

Please note that the Christmas tree is sparse, branchwise. This was a big trend I noticed. In America the Christmas trees need to be full and bushy so they can hold up ornaments made of iron and bronze or whatever dense weighty material they’re constructed out of. In Europe the most common decoration is ribbon tied into bows or creatively folded straw, so the trees can look like Christian Bale in The Machinist and still work just fine.

In a hallway off to the side were some super-ancient ladies. I hope the sculptors were not being true to life back in 900 A.D. because these women are… strong-looking. And mad. One’s boobs were all over the place. They are not pretty ladies. But they were in excellent condition and it was cool to see them.

verden-dom4 verden-dom5 verden-dom6

After checking out the church Neenernator’s mom and I sauntered over (in the rain, always rain) to the high school Neenernator went to. I was unaware that she went to Hogwarts.

verden-hogwarts1 verden-hogwarts2 verden-hogwarts6

Seriously, Hogwarts. Here’s the entrance hall and the stairwell.

verden-hogwarts4 verden-hogwarts5

Here’s their auditorium.

verden-hogwarts3

Here’s the hallway filled with local taxidermied beasties.

verden-hogwarts7 verden-hogwarts8

Here’s the courtyard where the peacocks live in the non-winter season (not making that up).

verden-hogwarts9

We ran into the janitor and he was straight out of a book about gnomes or goblins. He complemented the oldey-timey magical quality of the school perfectly.

After Verden we went to a town Neenernator called Fischerhuder (Fisherman’s Hood). Neenernator warned me the town would be picturesque but I was not prepared. It was adorable. I wanted to snuggle with the buildings and the trees.

fischerhuder1 fischerhuder8 fischerhuder9

Many of the houses were topped with these crossed horse-head carvings. I loved them. Very Norse.

fischerhuder-roof

I also liked whoever planted this hedge, alternating the yellow-green and blue-green.

fischerhuder-hedges

The first building we came across was the local church. It’s a very old, very small church and I guess in the 1600s and 1700s there was a graveyard that got knocked down due to weather or war, so the wall around the church was partially made of the headstones.

fischerhuder2 fischerhuder5

Some particularly weird-looking angels.

fischerhuder3

Some particularly Mozart-looking angels.

fischerhuder4

Any ones that were different heights were scattered around on the church property.

fischerhuder6 fischerhuder7

After went into a antiques store where I bought a porcelain dish featuring a small child taking his friend the insect for a walk (I tried to find a picture of it online, I could not so I will take a photo and post it at some point in the near future) we checked out the Watermill. There was a little stream that went through town and it powered the local mill which had been turned into a restaurant since milling is not the thing it once was.

fischerhuder-wassermuhle1

Oh boy! Tradition AND charm! Can’t wait.

fischerhuder-wassermuhle2

Here we go!

fischerhuder-wassermuhle3

Aaaaaand there it is.

fischerhuder-wassermuhle4

See that stain on the side of the building? That’s where the water wheel WOULD HAVE attached if there had been a DAMN WATER WHEEL there (*cough* false advertising *cough*). Shame on you, Watermill. You may be traditional, but you are not charming. There. I said it. I say harsh things when you rob me of the joy of a water wheel. Also they were closed for the season which compounded my sadness.

However, not all was lost! Another facility was open! It was post-lunch so all they were serving was tea and cake, but tea and cake is awesome so we went with that. This is one of the many times in my life where I wished I spoke another language well enough to read the signs and understand them. See that sign?

fischerhuder-puppencafe1

If you know German, you would know that it says “Doll Cafe and Restaurant.” Doll Cafe, otherwise known as Nightmare Fuel Establishment. Neenernator isn’t scared of anything so she had no problem, but as soon as we walked in I knew that I would spend most of my time in there staring intently at the tablecloth.

fischerhuder-puppencafe2

Oh, this doesn’t look so bad. It’s quaint and inviting.

fischerhuder-puppencafe3 fischerhuder-puppencafe9 fischerhuder-puppencafe8

Those cakes look amazing OH NO DON’T TURN AROUND

fischerhuder-puppencafe4

THEY’RE ALL FACING ME WITH THEIR DEAD DOLL EYES

fischerhuder-puppencafe10

PLEASE DON’T SIT US NEXT TO THE SCARECROW great we’re sitting next to the scarecrow.

fischerhuder-puppencafe6

They brought us menus and proceeded to read every damn word on that menu so I wouldn’t have to look up and be in my own personal version of a 1980s horror flick. The slices of cake were enormous so they recommended that we get half of one kind and half of another kind. Then they brought us our tea and cake and it was presented so beautifully I almost forgot to freak out.

fischerhuder-puppencafe-tea

fischerhuder-puppencafe-cake

Neenernator got a blackberry cake and a yogurt and fruit cake. I got a citrus cake and a gooseberry cake. Oh my God. The citrus cake was wonderful, but the gooseberry cake… it was exquisite. I’m not exaggerating. It was so light I thought it would defy gravity and float away. I’m get a wee bit drooly right now thinking of it. So yummers.

I also noticed the art nouveau light fixtures. I thought they were abstract swirlies and nothing more, but Neenernator pointed out that little gnomes are struggling with inside-out umbrellas on the side. That made me like the lights even more.

fischerhuder-puppencafe7 fischerhuder-puppencafe-light

After we had our afternoon tea like civilized ladies Neenernator went to the bathroom while I waited outside. When she came outside she was grinning. “I’m so glad you didn’t go to the bathroom in there,” she said. Apparently there’s a guy who greets you as you approach the lavatory:

fischerhuder-puppencafe11

And this lovely lady keeps you company in the stall.

fischerhuder-puppencafe12

HELL TO THE NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Leave a Reply